Learn How to Be Courageous. Watch the Lions, the Tigers and the Bears

This Is Your Quest - Author Joanne Reed
Be Courageous. Emulate the lion

Learn how to be courageous. Watch the lions, the tigers and the bears. What is Courage?

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently”. Maya Angelou.

We can learn how to be courageous by watching the lions, the tigers and the bears. The word ‘courage’ originates from the Latin word cor (Coeur in French and cuore in Italian) which means heart; in essence, it means ‘to act from one’s heart’. The etymology of the word indicates that when we act courageously, we are activating our inner power and strength which surfaces through our heart’s desire. Courage is the mental preparedness and ability to deal with difficulty, challenges, and sometimes seemingly impossible circumstances. It is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, intimidation, and other threats.

Courage is not a quality that you are born with. It is one that has to be cultivated and honed. Today we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds but being courageous does not necessarily entail doing something dramatic or astoundingly heroic, everyday living requires courage.

So, what is courage? There are many definitions out there of what courage is. Below are my favorite ones.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel fear, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

“Deep down in the human spirit, there is a reservoir of courage. It is always available, always waiting to be discovered.” Pema Chodron.

“Courage is a special kind of knowledge: The knowledge of how to fear what ought to be feared and how not to fear what ought not to be feared.” David Ben-Gurion.

“The opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.” Jim Hightower.

“Success is never final; failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.” John Wooden.

“We all have varying degrees of courage. Finding courage can be a choice we make every day, often in the quietest of ways. There is great courage in living life to the fullest, living with authenticity and a sense of alignment with one’s most deeply held values. And sometimes, simply getting up every day and putting one foot in front of another is an act of immense courage.” Barbara Bonner.

As Maya Angelou rightly said courage is a virtue and it is the most important one to cultivate because without it you cannot practice any of the other virtues consistently. When we work to develop courage, we both empower ourselves with the ability to confront problems head-on, as well as acquire the skills required to deal with life’s inevitable challenges.

Be Courageous. Native American Woman. Photo by @freepk via freepik.com

In certain cultures, including in the Native American culture, there is a belief that our spirit guides accompany us during our life journey and those spirit guides include animals. A spirit animal acts as a teacher or messenger that comes in the form of an animal; it is believed that you do not choose the animal, rather the animal chooses you and is there to provide guidance, lessons, protection, power, or wisdom. You can have one or several spirit animals throughout your lifetime. They can come in and out of your lives to give you guidance, teach you about yourselves, and help you maintain balance. A spirit animal can bring you a message in several ways. You can physically cross paths with the animal, you can dream about it, see representations of the animal when you are out and about or it can come to you in your meditations. Your spirit animal often represents qualities and attributes that you may see in yourself.

To help us learn how to be courageous, I called upon the animal world and asked the lion, tiger, and bear to teach us a thing or two about courage.

Learn how to be courageous, watch the lion.

Learn how to be courageous wacth the lion. Photo by@freepik via freepik.com

The lion is the king of the jungle, it epitomizes courage and is universally known as the symbol of strength, true leadership, and a commanding presence that cannot be easily intimidated. If the lion spirit animal makes you aware of its presence, it will give you the strength you need to face and overcome hurdles in your life; it will also teach you how to harness your fear, anger, and wild emotions. The lion animal spirit urges you to move forward with courage and decisiveness and push through life, no matter what.

With the lion animal spirit by your side, you will learn to choose your battles carefully. Some fights are worth fighting for and others aren’t, but taking care of the weak and vulnerable is always worth it. Lion people are very protective of their tribe and will spend considerable effort training their young to take care of themselves. For this reason, lion people are readily recognized as a leader and protector.

Learn how to be courageous, watch the tiger

Learn how to be courageous watch the tiger. Photo by@freepik via freepik.com.

Tiger symbolism is most commonly associated with strength and courage, as well as determination and independence. Tigers travel great distances, but they also spend much of their time resting and saving their energies. Choose wisely which pursuits you spend your energies on. Do not waste your efforts on those that will not give you something positive in return.

The tiger animal spirit also wants you to be determined and independent. If at first, you don’t succeed, try again until you make it. It’s OK not to get it right the first time, so don’t let your failures prevent you from achieving your dreams.

The tiger animal spirit is silent and solitary and thrives when there are no distractions. Its focus becomes more laser-sharp, and the silence makes it easier to spot any kind of movement nearby. Do not come rushing and roaring at your targets because this is the easiest way you can lose them from your grasp. Take a step back and think of the best approach. Sometimes to be successful in life, you need to forgo speed and aggression; slow down, listen closely, and wait for the perfect timing, no matter how long it takes.

When the tiger animal spirit makes you aware of its presence, it will teach you to focus on your goals, quietly and silently. And then when the time is right, trust your instincts, take action with swiftness and confidence. Persistence, patience, and hard work will lead you to success. Balance all the possibilities before you make a huge decision and act swiftly when required. Rely on your personal strength when you need motivation, determination, or courage.

With the tiger as your animal spirit, people can trust you to be calm and collected. You are very observant when it comes to people and your surroundings, which makes you wise and perceptive.

Learn how to be courageous, watch the bear

Learn how to be courageous , watch the bear. Photo by@freepik via freepik.com

The bear is emblematic of grounding forces and strength. This animal spirit gives those who need it the courage to stand up against adversity. The spirit of the bear is a strong source of support in times of difficulty. When the bear shows up as a spirit guide in your life, it’s perhaps time to stand for your beliefs or your truth. Bears symbolize warrior spirit and courage to fight and would be invoked to help the warriors in the battle.

With a bear animal spirit at your side, you will learn the art of being patient and will learn to wait for just the right moment to manifest your ideas and projects. Moreover, you will have a great deal of confidence in who you are and where you are going in life.

The bear is an animal that lives a solitary life. Having a bear as a spirit animal can mean that you find balance and comfort in solitude. The presence of this animal could point to the need to “regroup” and set up boundaries, so you feel comfortable in your own space, where you can re-energize yourself in order to come back stronger than ever.

Be courageous, wake-up, dress-up, and show-up.

Being courageous doesn’t mean that you have to do bold spectacular acts of bravery and become a hero. Courage can show-up in a very quiet manner and in thousands of unexpected ways. Deciding not to fight can sometimes be as courageous as charging into battle. Forgiveness requires a lot of courage. Learning a new skill, starting a new business venture, stepping outside your comfort zone requires a lot of courage. Standing-up to bullies and speaking your mind require a fair dose of courage. Falling in love, letting your guards down can be an act of courage. Staying positive and upbeat when facing setbacks, ill-health, old age or even death requires a lot of courage.

And this my dear friend is your Quest. Be courageous.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

Life is a Game. Here’s How to Up Your Game. Think Outside the Box

Life is a Game

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Learn the Art of War

Life is a game, here’s how to up your game, think outside the box, learn the Art of War, and finally act like a David and not like a Goliath. When we play a game, be it a sport like tennis or basketball or a card game like poker, we have fun whilst playing the game and feel good when we win and disappointed when we lose; but whichever way the game goes we know that we will put the game away (it was just a game after all) to get back to our ‘real-life’ made up of our family life, our professional life, our social life, or public life.

Except that life is a game just like all the other games, but we don’t realize it is so. Each of us has made up a set of rules (our values) based on our worldview and our beliefs under which we operate, and we think our rules are right and inherently true and everyone else’s is wrong. On top of our own rules, we have to abide by the laws of the land where we live. There are a lot of rules to maneuver through and knowing how to play that game in a skillful manner would require you to be smart, to think outside the box, to think strategically, just like a general would; and I know of no better general that Sun Tzu to teach us a thing or two about the Art of War.

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Think outside the box and learn the art of war. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Sun Tzu was a Chinese General, military strategist, and philosopher in Ancient China. He is the author of The Art of War which is accepted as being a masterpiece on military strategy and the best book ever written on the subject; it is often being cited by generals, scholars, and businessmen. Sun Tzu’s approach to warfare does not put brute force at the center of his strategy, he focuses more on alternatives to battles, the use of spies, the making and keeping of alliances, the uses of deceit, the use of the terrain, the weather and the enemy’s morale as powerful weapons. These days, we call this thinking outside the box.

Life is a game. Learn to up your game by learning the Art of war. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

“The Art of war is of vital importance to the State. It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account be neglected”

“Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak”.

“Be extremely subtle even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent’s fate”

“If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by”

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Learn the art of thinking outside the box

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game, think outside the box. Thinking outside the box is a well-known and well-worn cliché that is being used abundantly in the business world. It seems that everyone is obsessed with this trendy concept. But what does it mean?

Sometimes, we get stuck in our own ways, we like doing things the same way they have always been done, because why re-invent the wheel, right? True, except that if everybody is comfortable operating within the box there is no growth, no evolution just stagnation. Thinking outside the box means confronting problems the unconventional way, thinking creatively and freely, and encouraging frequent challenges to the status quo.

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Think outside the box. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Thinking outside the box requires that we question the status quo regularly by asking questions such as “Why?”,” What if?’, “How might we …?” Humans do not operate creatively and obediently at the same time: one excludes the other. Obedience demands that you override your own thoughts and act according to an external command or you conform to a standard way of doing things. Creativity is often associated with artistic endeavors, and with certain professions and crafts, but it is more than that. Creativity is about bringing something that was not there before. Thinking outside the box requires unobstructed thinking; it also comes from connecting the dots and having a broader perspective on things. This is how new ideas are introduced into the world.

There are two types of circumstances in which thinking outside the box is required. The first one is when we face a problem that we’ve unsuccessfully tried to resolve through all the logical and traditional solutions at hand. The second type is when there is no imminent need for change or novelty, but they would still lead to an improvement.

The story of David and Goliath is a good example of how one can think and act outside the box

David and Goliath’s famous battle took place in the valley of Elah in the North of ancient Palestine. The Jewish army is facing off against the Philistines they are both entrenched in their positions on opposing hills in a stalemate situation because of the terrain; it would be suicidal for either army to run down one side and up the other, rendering them vulnerable to the enemy.

The Philistines send over their champion fighter named Goliath. He is a giant of a man wearing nearly 100 pounds of armor, carrying a sword, and a shield. He came down the valley to ask the Israelites to send him an opponent to fight in one-on-one combat, the winner would determine which army emerges victorious.

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Be a David and not a Goliath. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

None of the Israelites soldiers step forward to fight against Goliath, except a small shepherd boy named David who come forward to volunteer to fight against Goliath for the sake of his people. Looking upon him, King Saul voices his concern that a small boy like him without military experience doesn’t stand a chance against Goliath a trained warrior. In response, David insists that he has experience hunting down lions and bears who steal his sheep. Eventually, King Saul agrees to send him to fight the giant, probably because nobody else volunteered, and offers David his own armor; but David refuses.

Goliath thought he was going to be challenging his opponent in hand-to-hand combat. However, David had something else in mind. He knew he had no chance if he fought on the giant’s terms, so he refuses the armor King Saul offers him, saying he can’t move quickly enough under so much weight. Instead, David picks up a handful of stones and runs down the valley armed with his sling. When Goliath saw who the Israelites army sent to fight him, he laughs and says to David quickly approaching “Am I a dog that you should come to me with sticks?” Undeterred David swiftly places a stone in a sling, striking Goliath in the forehead. Goliath falls to the ground, at which point David runs to Goliath, picks up his sword, and chops off the giant’s head.

What have we learned from the story of David and Goliath?

Malcolm Gladwell will help us answer this question, he wrote a whole book on this fascinating subject titled “David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants.” We all think that we have the whole David and Goliath story figured out, i.e., the little guy won against all odds because he had guts and was resourceful. We assume that this story is about the weak beating the powerful with the help of pure blind faith, a few stones, and a sling.

Life is a game. Here’s how to up your game. Be a David and not a Goliath

But Gladwell thinks we all have it wrong. It was Goliath who was the vulnerable one. His giant like physique made him slow and clumsy and it is very likely that he was half-blind (double vision is a common side-effect of an excess of human growth hormone). The only way he could beat David and win the one-on-one combat was for him to get his hands-on David; but David was smart and knew that he had no need to go anywhere near Goliath and could strike very accurately from a safe distance, which is exactly what he did. Ancient armies used to contain within their ranks slingers who could be very accurate and deadly from distances as great as 200 yards. David did not fight to abide by the traditional rules of the duel; he capitalized on his skill with the sling, which allowed him to fight from a distance and changed the rules of the duel to his advantage.

The other smart move that David had which gave him the decisive advantage over Goliath was to persuade the Israelites that single combat didn’t need to mean sword versus sword but could be any weapon you like. From this angle, it looks like Goliath had as much chance against David as a man with a sword would have against someone armed with an automatic weapon.

Gladwell’s conclusion is that the strong are surprisingly weak If looked at the whole situation from the right angle, and people who seem weak can turn out to be surprisingly strong.

Don’t be a Goliath, dare to be a David. And this, my dear friend, is your Quest.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

Online University for International Student. What It’s Like and How to Do Well

Online University - Studying from home

This article is about online university for international student, what it’s like and how to do well. My eldest daughter Maya is in her first year of college studying Bio -Med at the University of Calgary, Canada; but because of Covid she had to start her university life from the comfort of her bedroom confined to the family home for some extra time. Maya volunteered to write an article to share her experience and give some tips to fellow students; she hopes those tips could be useful to those facing the same struggles that she faced when studying online. So I will let Maya take over from here.

Maya Reed – Class 2020

Last year I started my first year of college at the University of Calgary in Canada. However, in the spirit of 2020 being a strange and totally insane year, all of my classes were online and, since I live in Korea, I was working on a 14 hour time difference. 

In all honesty, things were pretty awful. Hopefully, the world doesn’t reach a state where students will have to go through this ever again, but while we’re here, I figured I would share my experience, what I learned, and my tips for anyone just starting; but god forbid that this kind of information will be necessary in the future. 

Online University, the hardest parts/things to look out for 

Sleeping Struggles

Any year of university is going to involve late nights and irregular sleeping patterns, but working on a time difference made this so much more pronounced. I went into it thinking it would be as simple as working through the night and sleeping through the day, but that definitely wasn’t the case. Some days I would sleep right after my classes finished in the morning, others I would get to work after my classes finished and ended up sleeping late in the afternoon, and many days I had to resort to 2-3 hour naps wherever I could squeeze them in. I tried to create a regular sleeping habit, but things just never worked out that way, and deciding when exactly I would be sleeping became one of the most challenging parts of the whole ordeal. 

An unexpected side effect of my irregular sleep patterns was the amount of time I slept. I’m not someone who has struggled with sleeping in the past, but during the semester and even for a week or so afterward, my body physically would not sleep for more than 5 hours. This was my personal response to the ever-changing sleeping patterns and someone else is likely to have different responses based on their own time difference, but it’s important to keep in mind that figuring out when to sleep will probably not be as simple as you originally make it out to be. 

Online University. sleepy or Burn out? Photo by @freepik via frepik.com

With all the sleeping struggles I’ve just mentioned, you’d probably think that I felt awful most of the time. Strangely, I actually didn’t feel incredibly sleep-deprived or sluggish most of the time I was in classes or doing homework assignments. There were definitely days where I did, but I actually went around telling people that the sleeping arrangements and effects weren’t as bad as I was expecting. However, upon reflection and a few bad grades, I realized that sleep deprivation and irregularities did actually have an effect on my ability to focus and do my work. It’s very common knowledge that sleep deprivation will decrease performance in almost anything, and I certainly found myself making mistakes that I don’t think I would be making if I had a more regular sleeping pattern. 

Something else you might need to be prepared for is how the weekends work. My sleep schedule also made weekends complicated; all throughout the week I would be sleeping sporadically through the day and working through the night and basically operating on Canadian time. However, if I wanted to do anything with family or friends on the weekend, I would have to switch my sleep schedule back to Korean time so I could do things during the day. My options were basically to be tired most of the weekend or opt to recover and not see anyone. 

Online university struggles: distraction, concentration, and sitting too long 

While my time difference circumstance is one that may only be applicable to a small population, the struggles of working and learning online are ones that an entire generation of students and even workers can relate to. 

I found that distraction became one of the biggest obstacles I had to overcome. Listening to a lecture over a zoom call from your bedroom just doesn’t compare to the environment of a classroom or workplace, and that definitely hindered my ability to focus. Regularly, and without even realizing, I would find myself picking up my phone, scrolling through other tabs, playing with my cat, fiddling with the things on my desk, or just zoning out. 

My name is Cherry-Bee. I love Bio-Med Studies. Photo by @freepik via frepik.com

Those bad habits may all sound like they’re just that: bad habits that I or you need to work to control, and although this is partly true, it’s unfair to put all the blame on oneself. Bedrooms are spaces of comfort that we strongly associate with relaxation, and suddenly having to shift that association to include learning new, complex material that we would usually hear in a classroom as well as working is bound to and does introduce difficulties. 

Something else that is likely to affect your ability to concentrate is the amount of time you spend sitting in one place. Since all of my classes were online, I would end up sitting in my chair for hours and hours at a time, and after a couple of hours I would inevitably start to lose focus. A typical day in-person university would have you leaving your dorm to eat, move between classes, and more, and the difference between your typical day in online school is jarring. 

Quite honestly, some of these struggles might not sound “legitimate” enough to complain about, and when they start to hinder your academic performance it’s easy to blame yourself and start to feel insecure about your academic ability or intelligence. However, as small or trivial as some of them might sound, they are valid struggles people have to deal with and it’s important to recognize them as such so they can be combated. 

Online University, some of the good things

Despite all the challenges I’ve described, there are still some benefits to online school (even with a time difference) that students have to look forward to. 

With my particular time difference (14 hours ahead), there was the illusion that I had an extra day to do things. For example, something due at midnight on a Monday in Calgary would be due at 4 pm on Tuesday for me. Of course, I actually had the same amount of time to complete work as everyone else did, but it felt like I had an extra day of work time and that made things just a bit more bearable. My weekends also felt longer since I would go through all my classes early Saturday morning, have time to do something that day after classes, and wouldn’t start classes again until Monday night, technically giving me a 3 day weekend every week. 

Online University. Was this assement due yesterday or today?! Photo by @freepik via frepik.com

Another benefit was the accommodations teachers made for the courses. Many of my assessments were made open-book, I was given a lot more time to complete tests, and a couple of my classes dropped grades they didn’t usually drop to help boost the class’ overall grades. 

The most significant perk I saw was students being able to ask questions comfortably. I haven’t been to a large in-person university class, but I’m sure that people aren’t jumping up and down to ask their professor a question in front of everyone. However, over Zoom, students are much more eager and willing to ask questions, whether it was over the chat or speaking over the microphones. It’s simply much less anxiety-inducing to unmute yourself over a call where you can’t even see your classmates compared to speaking up in a quiet class of 200, and this was genuinely helpful. Students, myself included, were able to ask quick clarification questions that would probably not be asked in live lectures as well as feel more comfortable speaking up in the first place. 

The benefits you might experience will be different depending on your time zone and professors, but there will surely be at least one aspect of online school that acts as a perk. I also know a good handful of people who found online school better than traditional schooling, citing the convenience of not having to commute to classes, the benefit of academic accommodations, and more. 

Online University. How to be successful (time difference or not) 

Sleeping habits are different for everyone and the best sleep schedule for online school will depend on someone’s normal sleep patterns, the exact time difference, and more. My most applicable piece of advice for sleeping would be to invest in black-out curtains or a sleeping mask, because trying to sleep in the brightness of the day is not always easy.  

I do, however, have tips for improving the other aspects of doing online school with a time difference. 

  • Create a study space: If possible, having a room separate from your bedroom designated for studying, working, and attending class would be ideal. For most, this will not be the case, but it’s still worth setting up your study space as a study place. I tried to keep my desk clear, facing away from my bed, and free from distractions. Doing this, or anything similar, will help combat the relaxed associations you are bound to have with your bedroom and hopefully help you maintain concentration. 
  • Do not, under any circumstance, try to study in/on your bed: The bed is tempting, but anyone who has tried this knows that as soon as you make the decision to move you and your books to the bed, you’ve already lost the battle. This tip goes hand in hand with creating a study space. Don’t mix your comfort and your studying. 

Online University. Do not, under any circumstance try to study in/on your bed! Photo by @freepik via frepik.com
  • Keep your phone in a different room or where you cannot see it when you’re working/attending lectures: This was a difficult habit to enforce on myself, but I noticed a significant difference in my ability to concentrate when my phone was out of sight or not in the room. Phones and all our social media apps are designed to grab and hold our attention, and they do it extremely well. The only way to stop yourself from getting distracted from notifications or succumbing to the lure of doing literally anything other than listening to your professor is to remove the threat altogether. 
  • Triple check all your due dates and timestamps: Even though I tried to be very conscious of this, there were a number of times where I forgot to think about time differences and missed or had to rush something. It’s likely that the school platform you use doesn’t change their due dates to match time zones, so it’s up to you to figure out when you have to complete them by. There was an international student in one of my classes last semester that miscalculated when her exam was and was not able to make it up. Always check. 
  • Write down everything: Having a planner was probably one of the best decisions I made for last semester. One thing many other students and I hate about online school is the feeling that assignments pop up out of nowhere with no warning. After a few panicked submissions and a missed test, I started each day by checking all of my courses for assignments and due dates and writing them down in my notebook adjusted to my time. It’s  a tedious step, but will definitely save you a lot of headaches. 
  • Take walks: I mentioned earlier that sitting in the same spot at my desk for hours and hours at a time became draining and hindered my concentration. You’d be surprised at how much moving around for a little will wake you up. It doesn’t even have to be a walk outside, you could just go to your living room for a while to stretch your legs. Getting your blood flowing for just a couple of minutes will genuinely help reset your mental state. 
  • Make time for yourself and to see other people: Throughout the semester I got a bit lonely. I would often not see my family for very long since I was awake while they slept and vice versa, and with school and my sleeping patterns, it was basically impossible to see any friends during the week. There is already so much that is difficult about online university, and loneliness is not a struggle you want to add. Go see your friends. Take breaks. Don’t forget about your mental health.  
Online University. Meet up with your friends and have a pyjama party. Photo by @freepik via frepik.com
  • Go easy on yourself: I know for a fact that a lot of people have found online school during these times challenging and have seen those difficulties manifest through less-than-satisfactory grad performance or just the feeling of being burnt out and exhausted. It’s too easy to be hard on yourself and say that you should have done better because exams are open-book, or whatever other reason but don’t feel bad in admitting that what you’re doing is hard. It’s completely okay for you to not perform as well as you might have wanted or to give yourself some leeway about what you need to complete. I dropped my physics class this semester that’s usually completed in the first year and is a re-req for my major. After I dropped it, my school started approving students to mark specific classes as pass or failed and omitted from GPA calculations. I will have to retake the class and it will count towards my GPA, but I’m glad I decided to drop because I was burning out, the time I spent trying to figure out what was happening in that class was affecting my other class grades, and I realized that, with everything going on, I deserved to catch a break. 

My semester was rough, but I actually finished with pretty decent grades, and I would genuinely attribute my late success to those exact tips I have just gone through. As soon as I dropped my physics class I had the time to put much more effort into doing well in my other classes. I made sure to see my friends every weekend, eat with my family, write down all my due dates, and even managed to keep my phone out of my way for the last few weeks of the semester. 

If you’re a student, I hope this has prepared you for what you might encounter. If you’re a parent, I hope this has shed some light on what my generation is dealing with. 

In conclusion, let’s just hope and pray none of this ever has to happen again. 

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

Graduating From High School in the Time of Corona – A Parent’s Perspective

Graduating from High School in the time of Corona

Challenges of parenting in the 21st century when your child is graduating from high school

2020 was the year of the Corona and also the year when my eldest daughter Maya was graduating from high school. The biggest challenge as a parent is that we have to guide and prepare our children to enter a world that is very different from the one we grew-up in. Yet, as a parent you still have the challenge of inspiring, supporting, guiding your children and prepare them for a world that is messy, uncertain and full of surprises and opportunities.

There is so much I want to say to her before she leaves the family nest. The world is complex. Things are not always what they seem. Learn to swim in the sea of information and sometimes dis-information. Don’t rush to judgment. Try to discern, connect the dots. Put things into perspective. So much to say, to keep it sweet and short I wrote her an open letter.

Maya Reed – Class of 2020 – A Memorable Year

Live and Let Live


Live fully and courageously,
Let live and understand Human Nature,
Know yourself and your true essence.

Wake up, dress up, show up,
And do the best you can every day,
Until You know better,
Then, when you know better,
Do better.

Treat your body as a Temple,
Attend to it every day,
Nurture it,
Worship it.

Know that early years can be full of tears,
But I know that you are built to face those fears,
And I will always be here to send you cheers.

Do you have what it takes?
A mind of your own,
And the ability to get in the zone.

I wish you clear vision,
So that you can make good decisions,
And not be paralyzed by indecision.

To have clear vision,
Can you master your intuition?
And use it as ammunition.

So, go and shine your unique and natural light,
As bright and as strong as you can,
Be phenomenal!
Be you.

©Joanne Reed

After graduating from high school, what do you want to be when you grow-up?

What do you want to be when you grow up is a difficult question and needs thinking about carefully. Being a doctor, a vet, an engineer, a lawyer, or a scientist are all great options after graduating from high school but what if I said you should consider all of those, but also being a writer? The writer of the story of your life.

People live the story they want to tell. Your life is your story, and your mission is to write the best story you can and have lots of adventures along the way. You are both on a journey to find your own purpose and unleash your full potential.

Becoming successful at what you do should be part of your long-term plans. But how do you define success? It is a fluid concept. Success means different thing to different people. But for me, success comprises three key things:

  1. Success is an Iceberg. When you look at successful people what you see is often only the surface; confidence, wealth, beauty, relationships, seniority. Often, what you don’t see is what took them there: persistence, failure, sacrifice, disappointment, hard work and dedication. Thomas Edison said: “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration,” don’t forget and don’t be afraid to perspire.
  2. Success is a garden. Everything starts with an idea. “Your mind is a garden, your thoughts are the seeds, you can grow flowers, or you can grow seeds.” Plant a seed in your mind and care for it, work steadily towards your goal and be strong enough not to let setbacks defeat you in the accomplishment of your purpose.
  3. Success is about overcoming adversity. No journey will ever be perfectly smooth or proceed exactly as planned. There will be ups and down and unexpected turns, you will encounter difficulties. What do you do when things get a little rough? Well, I suggest that you take advice from Maya Angelou.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
– Maya Angelou

Story telling Time

Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer; the farmer was struggling to provide for his family. His hope and vision for a better future for his family was placed in a few bamboo seeds. He decided to dig hole after hole to plant the seeds then he began to take care of those seeds day after day by watering the seeds and fertilizing the ground.

The farmer decided to plant other crops around the bamboo in order to feed his family; but his real hope for prosperity remained with the bamboo. A whole year passes by … and nothing. Still the farmer continued to water the seeds and fertilize the ground every day. Another year goes by … and still nothing. His neighbors laugh at him, they mock his vision and his dreams. He begins to question himself, doubt creeps into his mind, will the bamboo ever grow?

Another year goes by … and still nothing. Three years of pouring water, energy and hope into his bamboo dream and he has nothing to show for it. One day he stands over the spot and cries in frustration. The barren ground seems to mock him yet the wind whispers hope into his ear so the farmer picks himself up and continues to water the seeds and fertilize the ground. Another year goes by … but still nothing.

Five Years have passed, and our farmer is tired. He is tired of hauling buckets of water and feeding the seeds. He is tired of seeing no results day after day. Despair rocks his soul and tears fill his eyes and he arrives home feeling defeated. But, the farmer’s darkest hour is just before his dawn as the next day, a miracle happens. The farmer sees green sprouts coming out of the ground; he cannot contain his joy and runs through the village to share the news with his family. In 6 weeks, the bamboo trees grow to 90 feet tall!

Bamboo forest -5 years in the making – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

The Moral of the story

If the farmer had stopped watering the seeds and fertilizing the ground during those 5 years, the bamboo would have died in the ground without seeing the light of day.

If you have a vision and a dream you need the discipline to take care of your dream day after day after day even if you don’t see the result straight away.

Ignore people that tell you it cannot be done.
Learned to push back on your own doubts and fears.
Learn to have faith when there is no reason to believe.
Good things take time. To face adversity you need patience, dedication, perseverance and courage.

Life Can Be a Struggle

The journey to achieve your dream will not be perfect. You will encounter setbacks, disappointment, hurdles, and hardship. In those moments, don’t despair but try to look for solutions to your problems and a clear path to follow. Being in a state of confusion adds unnecessary pain and suffering, but being in a state of clarity, brings hope, joy, and happiness.

Clarity, see things as they are, not how you want them to be – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

How do you find Clarity?

  1. The first thing is to know yourself. According to the Ancient Greeks, the source of all wisdom and clarity is to know yourself. You need to know where your strengths and weaknesses are so that you can exploit your strengths and improve on your weaknesses.
  2. The second thing is to understand human nature and why people do the things they do. Being able to make good decisions will require you to predict the future, accurately perceive your present situation and have insights into the mind of the people around you.
  3. The third thing is to practice the art of being still. You won’t know who you are if your mind is in constant state of agitation and occupied by mindless distractions. Moments of solitude allow you to be more tuned-in to your intuition. Stillness means to be steady while the world spins around you. Stillness can inspire new ideas, sharpen perspective and illuminate the mind.

If you do those 3 things you will find Clarity. Remember Your mind is like water. When it gets agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answers will become clear.

What Makes a Great Story?

So, what you want to be when you grow up? If you want your life to be a magnificent story, you will need clarity because clarity will make your thoughts, your emotions and your actions congruent with each other. Good stories include fun, joy and laughter, but also some drama, tears and sorrow. People like stories where a superhero does wonderful deeds. Try to be your own hero, not by wearing a cape, jumping from building to building trying to save the world, but by becoming a better person everyday shining your own light into the world. So, my dear daughters, I wish you good luck and fortune on your journeys, and hope that you write the best stories that have ever been told.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

The audio version of my book “This Is your Quest ” is available. Feel free to check it out and use this special Promotion code

The Three Songs That Helped Me Through 2020

The Power of Music

The Three Songs that Helped me Through 2020

Music has a unique ability to bring people together. From a national anthem to a church hymn, or your favorite rock or hip-hop song, music has the amazing ability to unite us, to pull us together as we listen, sing, dance, and rejoice in the pure beauty of the notes and melody suspended in the air. There are three songs that helped me through 2020.

2020 was the year when everything and nothing happened at the same time. Each of us has our own coping mechanism when dealing with difficulties in life, mine is to put some music on and let the rhythm of the notes and the lyrics take me to places I want to go.

There are three songs that helped me go through 2020:

1. ‘From Hero to Zero’, a song featured in Disney’s animated movie Hercules.

2. ‘Let It Be’, a song written by Paul McCartney  when he was part of The Beatles

3. ‘How Far I’ll Go’, a powerful ballad from Disney’s’ 2016 animated film Moana, performed by Auli’i Cravalho

The first song that helped me through 2020, From Zero to Hero, Hercules

Song that helped me through 2020. From Zero to Hero. Hercules, The Greek Hero. This song teaches us that we can survive our own tribulations and become the hero of our own life. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

One of the most popular heroes of Greek mythology  is Hercules. What makes him so popular is the fact that he is half-god and full of flaws. His life was far from perfect and filled with tragedies. He endured many trials and completed many daunting tasks, but the reward for his suffering was a promise that he would live forever among the gods at Mount Olympus.

From zero to Hero – Hercules – Cover by Alize Reed

From Zero to Hero Lyrics

Bless my soul
Herc was on a roll
Person of the week in every Greek opinion poll
What a pro
Herc could stop a show
Point him at a monster and you’re talking SRO
He was a no one
A zero, zero
Now he’s a honcho
He’s a hero
Here was a kid with his act down pat
From zero to hero in no time flat
Zero to hero just like that (snaps)

When he smiled
The girls went wild with
Oohs and aahs
And they slapped his face
On ev’ry vase
(On ev’ry “vahse”)

From appearance fees and royalties
Our Herc had cash to burn
Now nouveau riche and famous
He could tell you
What’s a Grecian urn?

Say amen
There he goes again
Sweet and undefeated
And an awesome 10 for 10
Folks lined up
Just to watch him flex
And this perfect package
Packed a pair of pretty pecs

Hercie, he comes
He sees, he conquers
Honey, the…

Hercules is the son of Zeus, ruler of all the gods on Mount Olympus and his mother was Alcmene (Zeus’ mistress). Hercules’ personal problems started before he was even born. When Zeus’ wife Hera heard that her husband’s mistress was pregnant, she flew into a rage and used her supernatural powers and a whole range of nasty spells to try to kill the baby before it was even born, but to no avail. Hercules survived but was stripped of his immortality and told that he would have to become a true hero in order to reclaim his full divinity and seat on Mount Olympus among the other gods.

Hercules was raised on earth but retained his god-like strengths, which, although useful, sometimes became a disadvantage. His life was not always a happy one, it was full of disappointments, tragedies, trials, and tribulations. Hercules learned that those disappointments and dark times were part of his human experienceand were meant to teach him life lessons. He became the champion and the protector of the weak.

Hercules’ inner strength and ability to endure hardships made him an inspirational figure to the people and a symbol of stability in the midst of chaos, even if it was chaos that he himself caused. Hercules fought against monsters, titans, and all sorts of formidable adversaries, but it is his self-sacrifice to rescue his love Meg which made him a true hero.

The myth of Hercules teaches us that everyone has monsters they need to conquer, seemingly impossible tasks that they have to accomplish, and tragedies that they have to overcome. When faced with some difficult situations in life, one can take comfort in the stories of Hercules who went from zero to hero, we can survive one’s own tribulations and become the hero of our own life. Hercules encapsulates the hero that anyone can relate to precisely because his life was far from perfect and his character was less than ideal.

From Zero to Hero in no time flat!

The second song that helped me through 2020, Let it Be, The Beatles

Let It Be – The Beatles. This song teaches us to accept the bad things that have happened or bad decisions we made, especially if there is no way we can change the situation. Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Let it be, was The Beatles’ highest-debuting single on the Billboard Hot 100, and their final single before Paul McCartney  announced his departure from the band. The song, written by McCartney, was inspired by a dream he had of his mother who died of cancer when he was fourteen. 1968 was a tense period for  The Beatles , they were recording the White Album but tensions within the band was rife with members asserting individual artistic agendas. This is when McCartney’s mother came to him in a dream whispering these wise words, “It will be all right, just let it be.” Paul McCartney, in a later interview, recalled waking up, remembering the dream and turning it into a song ‘.

Let it Be Lyrics

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
Let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom
Let it be

Mary was McCartney’s mother’s name. McCartney’s decision to leave Teh Beatles came shortly after the release of the single.

What I learned from this song is that we should practice the Art of Acceptance, or the philosophy of Let it be; it can help us accept a difficult situation or the ups and downs we experience in everyday life. Let it Be means let go, relax, don’t worry about your troubles. These words of comfort remind us not to think about sad things too much, to accept the bad things that have happened or bad decisions we have made, especially if there is no way we can change the situation. Let it be is a beautiful reminder that you do not hold all the strings, you are not always in the driver’s seat and you are not responsible for everything.

Misery is not just an absence of pleasure but is also caused by unmet expectations and aspirations, and by a continuous need for approval in our personal and professional lives. These disappointments, some big and some small cause some people a lot of stress and anxiety and may result in depression or other Mental illnesses. But despite the imperfection in one’s professional or personal situation, psychologists and therapists believe a lot of this struggle and stress is avoidable with a simple technique, acceptance, or to let things be.

When we recall happy memories, we are often nostalgic, and remind ourselves how things used to be. When we recall less happy events, there is a tendency to hold on to those unhappy memories too.

“What you resist, persists.”

Carl Jung

Accepting the reality of our situation allows us to move forward and gives us more energy to focus on the present moment, to feel grateful for the people and things we have now.

Does acceptance mean conformity and mediocrity? By the time I was at high school, I’d already resigned myself to the idea that I was not put on this earth to be a mathematician, astronaut, or engineer, and scraping through an algebra test with a bare minimum passing grade used to make me really happy. Fast forward to today in Seoul where my two daughters go to school, it is a regular occurrence for high schoolers to score 100% not just on math tests, but across all the science subjects. Did my acceptance make me mediocre? I don’t think so.

Acceptance doesn’t mean conformity and mediocrity

If it’s within your ability to do better in math tests, or a sports event, then you should do better. Acceptance shouldn’t be a drain on ingenuity and growth. If you are born poor and underprivileged, acceptance is not going to take you very far. Acceptance is not the defeatist way of saying, that’s the way it is, there is nothing I can do about it, it’s not about being lazy, but it may be about picking the important fights and forgiving past mistakes.

There are times in our life where circumstances force us to accept the way things are, to accept our own limitations, to accept our current situation. There are times when we should be philosophical and be grateful for what we have.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer

The third song that helped me through 2020, How Far I’ll Go, Moana

Song that helped me through 2020 . How Far I’ll Go, Moana. This song teaches us that we should not focus so much on how often we fall, but to focus instead on learning, having new experiences, picking ourselves up, and seeing how far we can go. Shine your ligh as far and as bright as you can.

Most people don’t dare to think big and follow their dreams because of the fear of failure, or of being ridiculed and rejected. The end result is that their dreams will always remain just that, a dream. The dream made them feel good while it lasted, but their ideas will remain known to them only. Their songs will only ever be sung in their heads, with no audience to listen to and no one else to appreciate them. The books they could have authored remain only thoughts.

Most people won’t even reach for their dreams because they are unwilling to feel uncomfortable, to have their limits tested, to live on the edge, to be outside their comfort zone, to be criticized, to be let down, and to be challenged. People should not focus so much on how often they fall, they should instead focus on learning, having new experiences, picking themselves up, and seeing how far they can go.

How Far I’ll Go – Cover by Alize Reed

How Far I’ll Go – Lyrics

I’ve been staring at the edge of the water
‘Long as I can remember, never really knowing why
I wish I could be the perfect daughter
But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try
Every turn I take, every trail I track
Every path I make, every road leads back
To the place I know, where I can not go, where I long to be

See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me
And no one knows, how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know if I go there’s just no telling how far I’ll go

I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island
Everything is by design
I know everybody on this island has a role on this island
So maybe I can roll with mine
I can lead with pride, I can make us strong
I’ll be satisfied if I play along
But the voice inside sings a different song
What is wrong with me?

See the light as it shines on the sea? It’s blinding
But no one knows, how deep it goes
And it seems like it’s calling out to me, so come find me
And let me know, what’s beyond that line, will I cross that line?

The line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me
And no one knows, how far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I’ll know, how far I’ll go

Songwriters: Lin Manuel Miranda  

How Far I’ll Go

Moana (played by Auli’I Cravalho) is a Polynesian teenager who goes on a Quest to save her island’s failing ecosystem accompanied by a demigod Maui (played by Dwayne Johnson). Moana, is the daughter of the chief, she has a feisty temperament and discovered from an early age that she feels the happiest when she is splashing around in the ocean, she always had a deep connection with the sea, her name means deep water.

Life on the island is happy, joyful, and idyllic, until the day when the island’s fishermen stopped catching fish and the crops stopped growing. The Island was cursed. Moana finds out that the demigod Maui caused the plight by stealing the heart of the goddess, Te Fiti. The only way to heal the island is to persuade Maui to return Te Fiti’s heart; so, Moana sets off on an epic journey across the pacific. In doing so she defies her father’s instructions for his people not to venture beyond the reef surrounding the island. How far will she go? Through the whole pacific.

Moana meets the once-mighty demigod Maui, who agreed to accompany her in her Quest. Together, they sail across the open ocean on a perilous and action-packed voyage. Along the way, Moana discovers the one thing she always sought: her own identity.

How far are you ready to go in your Quest to find your purpose in life?

I would like to hear from you, if you want to share your story send your responses in the comment box below.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

Audiobooks and the Art of Storytelling. English or French? En Francais S’il Vous Plait!

Audiobooks and the art of storytelling

Audiobooks and the Art of storytelling English or French?  

En Francais S’il vous Plait

Audiobooks and the art of storytelling are having a moment and are becoming more and more popular. The audio version of my book ‘This Is Your Quest’ is available in both English and French!

This Is Your Quest

La version audio de mon livre ” En Quête du Bonheur ‘ est disponible en anglais et en Français!

En Quête du Bonheur

Audiobooks and the art of storytelling are having a moment; they are in the midst of a boom as they soar in popularity. They are one of the greatest and more recent gifts to lifelong learners. The beauty of audiobooks is that you don’t have to set aside some quiet time away from everything and everyone in order to read a book anymore.  You can continue to do all the things that you have listed on your to-do-list whilst having someone whispering in your ear a story that you want to hear.

Les livres audio et l’art de raconter des histoires sont en plein essor et leur popularité est en hausse. Ils constituent l’un des plus récents cadeaux aux lecteurs enthousiates. La beauté des livres audio est qu’il n’est plus nécessaire de réserver un moment de calme loin de tout et de tous pour lire un livre.  Vous pouvez continuer à faire toutes les choses que vous avez énumérées sur votre liste tout en ayant quelqu’un qui vous chuchote à l’oreille une histoire que vous voulez entendre

Audiobooks and the art of storytelling allow you direct access to a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom.  Books allow the smartest people within every field to share their knowledge and experience with you so that you can learn from them and avoid making the same mistakes. But even for people who love books, finding the opportunity to read can be a challenge. This is where audiobooks come into the frame, they come to the rescue of those who have no time to sit in a quiet corner to read because of their daily commute, their work, their house chores and so many other things that need to be done.

Audiobooks and the Art of Storytelling allow you direct access to a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom.

Les livres audios et l’art du récit vous permettent d’accéder directement à un trésor de connaissances et de sagesse.  Les livres permettent aux experts de partager leurs connaissances et leur expérience avec vous afin que vous puissiez bénéficier de la sagesse acquise péniblement et éviter de commettre les mêmes erreurs.  Même pour les lecteurs enthousiastes, trouver du temps pour lire n’est pas chose facile. C’est à ce moment là que les livres audio entrent en jeu, ils viennent au secours de ceux qui n’ont pas le temps de s’asseoir dans un coin tranquille pour lire à cause de leur trajet quotidien, de leur travail, de leurs tâches ménagères et de tant d’autres choses qui doivent être faites.

For those who are experiencing some decline in their eye sights because of old age, don’t despair, you can still have access to all the information and knowledge that you want, just press the play button and off you go. For those who are dyslexic don’t be put off by the thought of struggling your way through a book. Do you want to read Harry Potter? Sure you can and please don’t fret and don’t be intimidated by the size of the book. You don’t have to read it, listen to it, instead.

Pour ceux qui voient leur vue diminuer en raison de l’âge, ne désespérez pas, vous pouvez toujours avoir accès à toutes les informations et connaissances que vous souhaitez, il suffit d’appuyer sur le bouton ‘play‘ et c’est parti. Pour les personnes dyslexiques, ne vous découragez pas. Vous voulez lire Harry Potter ? Aucun problême, vous pouvez le faire, ne vous inquiétez pas et ne vous laissez pas intimider par la taille du livre. Vous n’êtes pas obligé de le lire, mais plutôt de l’écouter.

One should not underestimate the power of storytelling. From the beginning of time, knowledge was shared from generation to generation thanks to story tellers who used their artistry to pass on information, knowledge and wisdom to their community.  The rise of audiobooks seems to be a natural progression back to the oral learning tradition that was so common in the olden days.

Il ne faut pas sous-estimer le pouvoir du récit. Dès le début des temps, le savoir a été partagé de génération en génération grâce aux conteurs d’histoires qui ont utilisé leur talent artistique pour transmettre des informations, des connaissances et de la sagesse à leur communauté.  L’essor des livres audios semble être un retour naturel vers la tradition de l’apprentissage oral qui était si répandue autrefois.

Audiobooks and the art of storytelling. Being read stories aloud is not reserved for children only

Les livres audios ou l’art de raconter des histoires. La lecture d’histoires à haute voix n’est pas réservée aux enfants.

I am a fan of audiobooks; but be aware that I am totally biased on this subject because I recently released the audio version of my book ‘This Is Your Quest‘; and right now I would like to invite you to listen to the sweet and smooth voice of Nita Slater, my English/American narrator, and Sylvie Racine, my French Narrator, who will be whispering in your ear a story you want to hear.

Je suis une fan des livres audios ; mais sachez que je suis totalement partial sur ce sujet car je viens de sortir la version audio de mon livre ” En Quête Du Bonheur ” ; je voudrais vous inviter à écouter la voix douce et suave de Nita Slater, ma narratrice Americaine et de Sylvie Racine, ma narratrice Française qui vont vous murmurer à l’oreille une histoire que vous voulez entendre.

Audio books and the art of storytelling – What happens when a storyteller meets two professional voice actresses?

What happens when a storyteller meets two professional voice actresses? They create something beautiful that fills the silence that exists when one just sits alone in a quiet corner with a book.  When I became an author, I found my voice, and by doing so I also found my new purpose in life, which is helping others find theirs.  And now, I have found two amazing voices to narrate and bring to life the stories that I wrote in my book. I am delighted to inform all my readers that the audio version of my book This Is Your Quest is now available, and it is my pleasure to introduce you to my narrator Nita Slater.  Nita is an artist with many talents, but her most amazing feature is her voice it is like honey sweet and smooth.

Que se passe-t-il lorsqu’une conteuse d’histoires rencontre deux narrarices professionnelle? Elles créent quelque chose de beau qui remplit le silence qui existe quand on est simplement assis seul dans un coin tranquille avec un livre.  Quand je suis devenu auteur, j’ai trouvé ma voix, et ce faisant, j’ai aussi trouvé mon nouveau but dans la vie, qui est d’aider les autres à trouver la leur.  Et maintenant, j’ai trouvé deux voix incroyable pour raconter et donner vie aux histoires que j’ai écrites dans mon livre. J’ai le plaisir d’informer tous mes lecteurs que la version audio de mon livre ‘his Is Your Quest‘ est maintenant disponible en anglaise et en Francais.

My mission as a storyteller is to weave interesting information into a compelling story that will keep my readers captivated and entertained. Story telling becomes magical when you add a smooth and engaging voice into the equation, making the experience more engaging, memorable and multi-dimensional.  Being read stories aloud is not reserved for children only, adults can also indulge in this pleasure.

Ma mission en tant que conteur est de tisser des informations intéressantes dans une histoire captivante qui gardera mes lecteurs captivés et divertis. Le récit devient magique lorsque vous ajoutez une voix douce et engageante à l’équation, rendant l’expérience plus engageante, mémorable et multidimensionnelle.  La lecture d’histoires à haute voix n’est pas réservée aux enfants, les adultes peuvent également se livrer à ce plaisir.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

The One Thing I Would Like to See Happen in the New Year is the End of Alienation

Alienation V3

The one thing I would like to see happen in the New Year is the end of alienation

Happy New Year to all my readers and followers! Thank you for taking the time to read my work and interact with me through your comments. I appreciate every single one of you. Starting a new year is always filled with much anticipation; 2021 carries with it a lot of hope bearing in mind what we all went through in 2020.  There is much to say about last year and if I can succinctly summarize it in one word, I would use the word INSANE. Moving on, if there is one thing that I would like to see happen in the New Year is the end of the state of ALIENATION where we all seem to languish.

My name is Estrange – The one thing I would like to see this year is the end of alienation – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

The word ‘alienation’ comes from the Latin word ‘estrange’ and is defined as the separation or estrangement of human beings from some essential aspect of their nature or from society often resulting in feelings of powerlessness or helplessness.

We spent the whole of last year being alienated from each other, being forced to stay at home away from friends, family, colleagues and, customers. Spending all our time in-door in our own-little-sanitized-virus-free-bubble; being linked to the outside world only through our electronic devices is becoming the ‘new normal’ and this in return alienate us from one another, from nature and from ourselves.

Alienation from one another

“No man is an island’“

Humans are social creatures, connections are a core human need; we need healthy relationships to thrive.  It is through connections that we accomplish virtually everything that happens to us in life. It is not just a preference, it is a survival need. It is not surprising therefore to see connection and the feeling of belonging to a group coming in 3rd place on Maslow’s Pyramid of needs just after food, water, shelter which is the first basic needs that are necessary for our survival and the need for safety through employment health, property, which is Maslow’s 2nd basic needs.

As a quick refresher, Abraham Maslow is an American psychologist, best known for writing A Theory of Human Motivation and Towards a Psychology of Being; he defined the concept of Self-Actualization. Maslow’s unique approach to psychology came from the fact that he decided to study mentally healthy individuals, instead of people with serious psychological issues. His focus was on Self-Actualized individuals who had a better insight of reality, deeply accepted themselves, others and the world and who share qualities such as truth, goodness, aliveness, uniqueness and playfulness.

My Name is Esteem – The one thing I would like to see this happen in the New Year is the end of alienation and for people to feel recognized and appreciated for what they do– Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

At the bottom of Maslow’s pyramid of needs, you can find basic needs of human beings such as food, water, sleep, sex. The next level is safety needs or the need for security, order and stability. Once individuals have achieved their basic nutrition, shelter and safety needs, they are free to accomplish more; and this is how they move on to the next level i.e.love, belonging to a group, connection. The fourth level i.e. esteem is the need to feel competent and recognized; this level is achieved when individuals feel comfortable with what they have accomplished through professional success and status. At the top of the pyramid, you have the need for self-actualization which occurs when individuals reach a state of harmony and understanding because they are engaged in achieving their full potential.

Coming back to the main point of this article, several studies have demonstrated the fact that connecting with others is good for our physical and mental health. Real connection is more profound than mere conversation. True connection can happen without words and with someone we don’t even know. On the other hand, constant contact such as working with someone every day is no guarantee of actual connection.

True connection happens when you make yourself open and available to another and the other person does the same towards you. We feel connected to someone when we are being physically embraced, emotionally understood and supported by another being; you add to this mix some empathy and compassion and you have the secret recipe for a great connection.

Scientists looked into this and science is clear on this issue, how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health and happiness. The Harvard Study of Adult Development[1] is the longest study on adult life ever conducted, allowing researchers to collect a huge amount of data on men’s physical and mental health. Women were not part of the original study because the college was still all-male. The study started in 1938 when scientists started tracking the health of two hundred and sixty-eight Harvard sophomores; they hoped that the study would reveal clues to leading healthy and happy lives. Scientists expanded their research to include the men’s offspring and more than a decade ago added their wives to the study. From the pool of men who participated in the study some went on to become successful businessmen, doctors and lawyers, while others ended up as schizophrenics or alcoholics. The surprising finding was that our relationships, and how happy we are in our relationships have a powerful influence on our health. The revelation is that: taking care of your body is important but tending to your relationships plays a critical role in living long and pleasant lives and is a form of self-help too. Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. These close ties protect people from life’s discontents, help to delay mental and physical decline and are better indicators of long and happy lives than social class, IQ or even genes.

The one thing I would like to see this New Year is the end of the current state of alienation from one another that we are experiencing right now. I wish for 2021 to be the year where we are safely able to reconnect with our family, friends, colleagues and customers.

Alienation from nature

In a world where we spend more and more time indoors and glued to our screens, we should add go outside and immerse ourselves in nature as one additional item on our New Year resolution list.  There is nothing better than a walk in the park, or in the woods, or a stroll by the beach to invigorate our senses and give us a feeling of happiness and peace. Scientists are beginning to find evidence that being in nature has a profound impact on our brains and our behavior, helping us to reduce anxiety, stress and improve our immune system.  

Researcher David Strayer of the University of Utah confirmed that brain scans show unequivocally that we are physically and mentally healthier when we are interacting with nature. Science is demonstrating what we intuitively knew that nature makes us happy.

My name is Sunshine – The one thing I would like to see this New Year is the end of alienation and for people to go out more to enjoy feeling the sun on their skin – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

“We must cherish the natural world because we are part of it and we depend on it.”

Sir David Attenborough

A day out in the sunshine can provide us with vitamin D which is vital for a good immune system. A large chunk of the population today is Vitamin D deficient and this deficiency is often found to be the root cause of diseases such as cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer’s to name only a few. This problem can be easily solved by spending more time outside in the sunshine.

The environment is a natural purifier. Spending some hours outdoors helps in releasing the toxins from our body and leave us feeling fresh and rejuvenated.  Moreover, time spent outside will naturally push us to do more physical activities, such as walking, jogging, cycling, swimming surfing, kicking a football. Any exercise outdoor will help burn fat and improve your body’s metabolism.

If you live in an urban area and are not within close proximity to a park, having some plants at home can work wonders. Growing plants at home can add aesthetic beauty to your living space, but it can also contribute to purifying the air you breathe.

Advice from a Tree from Ilan Shamir

Advice from a Tree – Ilan Shamir

The one thing I would like to see this New Year is the end of the current state of alienation from nature. I wish for 2021 to be the year where we go outside and embrace the changing seasons, the energy and birth of Spring, the growth and contentment of summer, the wisdom to let go like leaves in the Fall  and the rest and quiet renewal of winter.

Alienation from self

Do you know who you are and what your true nature is? Operating within our true nature is often put on the back burner because there are more pressing things to attend to on a daily basis. People tend to get lost within their never-ending obligations, domestic chores and ordinariness of life.

Everyone has to bear the burden of their own internal struggles.  Life will bring you a series of  good fortune and misfortune. Learning how to respond to the resulting joy or pain and confusion is always a struggle; but if we learned to act from our true essence, it would be less of a struggle.

One way for us, human beings to regain our sense of connection to ourselves is to be mindful and present in the moment and pay attention to our feelings about a particular situation, such as fear, greed, envy, jealousy, anger, hate. The idea is to let those feelings envelop us and try to deal with them with as much compassion and wisdom as we are capable.

What is fear? Non-acceptance of uncertainty. If we accept uncertainty it becomes an adventure. What is envy? Non-acceptance of good in others. If we accept good in others it becomes inspiration. What is anger? Non-acceptance of what is beyong our control. I we accept it, it becomes tolerance. What is hate? Non-acceptance of people as they are. If we accept each other unconditionally, it becomes love.

Native American Wisdom
My name is Clarity – The one thing I would like to see this New Year is the end of alienation and for people to have more clarity – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

According to the Ancient Greeks, the source of all wisdom and clarity is to Know Thyself. That Motto Know Thyself was one of the maxims inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. With this inscription, the Oracles at Delphi invited people to gaze inwards and discover that the essence of one’s life is not be searched outside ourselves, but within, this is where we find clarity.

“Way too many people are going to spend 30–40 years of their life trying to check the boxes of the things that they’re not good at and waste a fuck load of time and lose.”

Gary Vaynerchuck

Self-awareness is a conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires; without self-awareness, many of your choices are made unconsciously; who to love or not to love, why you feel sad, why you feel happy, why you stay in your current job?

The one thing I would like to see this New Year is the end of the current state of alienation from self a lot of people are experiencing right now. I wish for 2021 to be the year when people reconnect with who they are and find the clarity that eluded them before.

And this my dear friend, is your Quest for 2021.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

[1] The Harvard Study of Adult Development – https://www.maelstrom-research.org/mica/individual-study/hsad

Transformation and Growth. How Does One Become a Butterfly?

Transformation and Growth. How one becomes a butterfly?

Transformation and growth. How does one become a butterfly?

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly”.

If one of your New Year resolutions is to pursue transformation and growth in order to become the best version of yourself, I invite you to study the life of a butterfly and learn from it. But how does one become a butterfly?

Transformation and Growth – How does one become a butterfly? Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

The butterfly has one of the most fascinating life cycles of all creatures. It starts its life as an egg perched on a leaf. When the egg finally hatches, a caterpillar emerges from the egg. The whole raison d’être of the caterpillar is to eat as much as possible in order to reach its desired growth. During this stage, the caterpillar will outgrow and shed its skin as many as four or five times.

As soon as the caterpillar is done growing and it has reached its full length and weight, it takes refuge into a cocoon, also known as the chrysalis, where it can safely rest and digest all the food that has been consumed in the previous stage. Though the chrysalis appears unchanged from the outside, there is a dramatic transformation taking place inside, this process is called metamorphosis, whereby the body of the caterpillar is slowly dissolving to create a brand-new being.

At last, in the final stage of its metamorphosis, the fully developed butterfly is ready to emerge from the chrysalis. The butterfly breaks free from its cocoon with wings that are folded and wet, so more rest time is necessary to allow blood to flow into the wings. Finally, when the wings are fully dry, the butterfly is ready to take flight and share its beauty with the world.

If we look closely at the process of the butterfly transformation from one state to another state, we see it is not an easy process. It takes time and each phase is necessary before the next stage can take place. If your New Year resolution is to transform yourself into the best individual you can possibly be,  I invite you to emulate the transformation process of the butterfly when you are working on your own transformation and growth.

The caterpillar stage

In this stage of the butterfly’s life (which follows right after the hatching from an egg) the main task is consumption. For us, we can assimilate this stage with the stage of growth when we are consuming as much knowledge and training as we can about something new that we want to understand and master.

Transformation and Growth. How does one become a butterfly? The caterpillar stage. Photo by freepik via freepik.com

This is the stage when we learn how to master our craft, and it is also the occasion for us to keep an open-mind about how things are done  and ‘shed’ old ideas, concepts and habits that don’t work anymore. Sometimes we have to unlearn the things we learned and take the path less traveled by. This is often a stage of great excitement and energy as we enjoy the flow of creativity and inspiration it brings; but the learning process can also bring with it its fair share of  hard work and loneliness.

It is important that we do not rush through this stage and have patience to go through the not-so-glamourous part of the learning process. A house built on sand won’t last very long. In the olden days, if you wanted to enter a profession you had to find a master who will be willing to take you under his wings and enter into an apprenticeship to learn the craft.  The normal length of an apprenticeship was 10 years; learning the craft required patience, discipline and dedication. The modern concept of this is the 10, 000 hours required to master a skill as described by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers.

Robert Greene calls this Mastery. He wrote a whole book about it.

“Anyone who would spend ten years absorbing the techniques and conventions of their field, trying them out, mastering them, exploring and personalizing them, would inevitably find their authentic voice and give birth to something unique and expressive. Embrace slowness as a virtue in itself”.

Robert Greene

We have a tendency to want to take the quickest, easiest path to our goals, we are impatient and want to see results quickly, but remember “there is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” The best way to cultivate our natural impatience is to cultivate a kind of pleasure in pain – like an athlete, you come to enjoy rigorous practice, pushing past your limits, and resisting the easy way out.

For more on this subject, you can read my article Want Good things to happen to you? Try Patience.

The chrysalis stage

In this stage the caterpillar takes refuge in a protective cocoon where it can safely rest and conduct its metamorphosis quietly and privately.

Human beings tend to skip that stage or confuse it with a period of a downturn or treat it as a failure. In fact, this stage is a necessary stage where you should learn the art of being still. What does stillness mean? Stillness means to be steady while the world spins around you. Socrates tells us that philosophy begins with wonder, and wonder is rooted in stillness. Other philosophers from various schools of thought have come to a similar conclusion, namely that the ultimate destination in our life journey is to master the stillness that is required to become master of our own life.

Transformation and Growth – How does one become a butterfly? The Chrysalis Stage Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Ryan Holiday’s book Stillness is the Key, describes the philosophy of stillness, or the art of being still and how important stillness is for self-mastery, discipline and focus in our modern noisy world. Stillness is an attainable path to enlightenment, excellence, greatness, and happiness, it can inspire new ideas, sharpens perspective and illuminate the mind. Stillness slows the ball down so we can hit it, it generates a vision, helps us resist the passion of the mob, and makes space for gratitude and wonder. Stillness allows us to persevere, to succeed, a key to unlock the insights of genius. Stillness is not some soft, new-age nonsense or the domain of monks or sages but in fact an essential component to peak performance in every domain of life.

A paradox of stillness is that it requires you to think very deeply, but also clear your mind. In fact, this is not a paradox as once our mind is cleared and emptied insights and breakthroughs can occur.

“Muddy waters clear themselves through stillness; if we let them settle the truth will be revealed to us.”

Another paradox is that stillness does not require that you stop moving or even to be somewhere quiet, stillness can be cultivated while chaos swirls around you. Those moments, in a busy shopping mall or airport, when somehow all the external noise is filtered out and you feel a sense of calm and can focus on what is in your control, that, is stillness.

The ability to intentionally find stillness, in a busy environment or just by shutting your eyes and focusing your thoughts and attention on one thing, is important because we have to move and live our lives; intentional stillness takes effort.  Active stillness is effective because we can’t simply think our way to peace or pray our body into better condition.

Stillness is an important tool on your journey to find clarity. The ability to see clearly, not only when you are meditating, but in the midst of conflict when you are frustrated, angry or scared, will help you find a more logical, less emotional response, and give you choices to do things differently, or do nothing at all.

For more on this subject , please read my article  The Art of Being Still.

Transformation and growth – How does one become a butterfly?

At last, in the final stage, the fully developed butterfly is ready to emerge from the chrysalis sharing its beauty with the world. The butterfly is considered a wonder of nature, it symbolizes personal transformation, changes, rebirth and the lightness of being. The butterfly as a spirit animal will remind you that life is a dance. You should not take things so seriously. Transformation and changes don’t have to be traumatic. They can be sweet and gentle, so you can accept them with grace and joy.

Transformation and Growth. How does one become a butterfly? Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

When you are ready to display your new you to the world, move forward with courage, while recognizing the fragility of your ‘new wings’, and when things don’t work out the way you expected, best to let go of your expectations. It is natural for human beings to seek validation; we thrive on being seen and being appreciated for our work and effort. We all want to become a beautiful Monarch butterfly admired by the people around us and for the most ambitious admired by the whole world. But the reality is many of our endeavors will turn into tiny moths instead, and that’s Ok. We have to resist the temptation to be only driven by the desire to create something grandiose and earth-shattering; it is Ok to shoot for the stars but if you don’t get there, it is also Ok to be fully satisfied with whatever emerges from the chrysalis, for nature has a need for moths as well as beautiful butterflies.

Advice from a Butterfly from Ilan Shamir

Transformation and Growth – Advice from a Butterfly? Photo by @freepik via freepik.com
  • Let your true colors show
  • Take yourself lightly
  • Look for the sweetness in life
  • Take time to smell the flowers
  • Catch a breeze
  • Treat yourself like a Monarch
  • And this my dear friend, is your Quest.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

What You Should Know About New Year Resolutions

At this time of year, when some of us are already thinking about our new year’s resolutions, I’m encouraging you to invest a little time trying to understand a few things we could resolve that would help make us happier. We want to be happier, living a life of flourish, but we often chase both the wrong things and the wrong paths to get to them. It perhaps sounds strange but, people are awful at predicting what will make them happy. Even more disturbing is the fact that we are often disappointed when we get the very things we think we want. There are a few things that you should know before making your New Year Resolutions.

2021 Goal List?… Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

In one of the strongest statements against the possibility for change, Lykken and Tellegen, a pair of researchers from the Minnesota Twin Family Study suggested that “trying to be happier may be as futile as trying to be taller.” This study, which also coined the phrase, the hedonic treadmill, implies that our efforts to get somewhere, to be happier, don’t get us anywhere. I don’t believe this to be true, and below are three things that you may want to take into account when setting your goals for 2021.

New Year Resolutions the choice between possessions vs. experiences

What you should know about new year resolutions is that often it is a matter of choosing between possessions or experiences. There’s a logical assumption many people make when spending their money, that because a physical object lasts a long time, it will make us happier than an a one-off experience, like a vacation or a night out. But, a 20-year study by Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, found the opposite to be true. “One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation,” says Dr. Gilovich. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while, resulting in no permanent gain in happiness. Worse, according to this theory, as we make more money or buy more things, our expectations and desires for them rise in tandem.

Possessions v Experiences – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Experiences on the other hand tend to provoke more satisfaction than time using material possessions. A possible explanation is the endurance of experiences in people’s memories, while the perceived value of material goods weakens over time. Moreover, our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods.

“You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

Dr Thomas Gilovich

Another reason that experiences win over possessions, is that they connect us more tightly to other people. You’re much likelier to feel connected to someone you went to school with, went on holiday together, than say someone who just happens to buy the same type of car or smart phone.

Add to your new year resolution list: conquering negativity

Negativity is, in general, thinking that whatever happens is most likely going to turn out bad. It doesn’t help that we are hardwired such that negative events have a much greater impact on our brains than positive ones, psychologists refer to this as the negativity bias, but there is a subtle difference between negativity and negative thinking.

New Year Resolutions – Conquer Negativity – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

The good type of negative thinking is why your mum checked if you packed a spare pair of pants on school trips. When your daughter is borrowing your car, when someone is asking you to take a risky investment decision, there’s good reason to think about worst case scenarios, it allows you to look at things more realistically, slows down decision making, and might save you money, or your life. Negative thinking often involves contemplating future events or outcomes where it is still possible to change the outcome; negativity, on the other hand, typically involves a habitual attitude of anger, cynicism, helplessness or sadness about things we cannot change. If you find yourself dwelling on an insult or fixating on your mistakes, and you keep playing it over and over in your mind, this is negativity, and it’s probably not doing you any good.

If you are someone who after an event takes place, finds yourself thinking “I shouldn’t have done that,” or focuses on things in a negative way, try to look for ways to reframe the situation in a more positive light. What did you learn? What would you do different next time?

Salvaging a funny story from your misfortunes can be a great way to turn the tide of negative thoughts. That old adage, “misery loves company,” is only partly true, “misery loves miserable company,” is more accurate. Humor is good medicine, the search for a funny aspect in a difficult moment can help us endure it, and when used to help others to copy, can be altruistic.

The Paradox of Choice

Psychologist Barry Schwartz took aim at a central tenet of western societies in his book The Paradox of Choice. Freedom of choice, in Schwartz’s estimation, has not made us not freer but more paralyzed, not happier but more dissatisfied. Choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress.

In his book, Barry Schwartz explains that choice, the hallmark of individual freedom and self-determination that we so cherish—becomes detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being, impacts the challenges of balancing career, family, and individual needs, and paradoxically becomes a problem instead of a solution.

Having too much choice, or choice overload, is a cognitive impairment in which people have a difficult time making a decision when faced with many options. Another factor which makes us less happy is FOMO, or the fear of missing out. To illustrate how FOMO works, imagine that you were shown 5 juicy oranges and told that one of them was the world’s tastiest, but you could only pick and eat one. Maybe you enjoyed your orange, but simply not knowing what the four other oranges taste likes lead to dissatisfaction. And, the more choices you have the worst it gets; if you have ten available choices, and you make a wrong decision, it’ll hurt more than if you only had 5 choices and made the same decision.

New Year’s Resolutions

So, when it comes to making your new year’s resolutions this year, try not to set yourself up for failure by setting goals that are vague, unrealistic, or influenced by what others expect of us. Because, if we ‘fail,’ we’re left feeling guilty, disappointed, and self-loathing—a far cry from the sense of confidence and empowerment we were after. Limit your choices, keep it simple, and try looking for something experiential. Happy new year, and here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous 2021!

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

Advice from a River

Advice from A river

Advice from a River

Rivers represent the source of life and the forward motion of time. Rivers also symbolize the power of nature and impermanence and change that are inherent in our existence. Cities and towns often spring up on riverbanks, seemingly brought to life by the water source and the fertility of the surrounding soil. Rivers capture our imagination, not just as a physical body of water, but more like a symbol of life, strength, freedom, and much more; something that we should emulate. Follow the advice from Mother River.

Advice from River. Go with the flow. Immerse yourself with nature – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Advice from a River

Go with the flow. Immerse yourself in nature

Slow down and meander. Go around the obstacles

Be thoughtful of those downstream. Stay current

The beauty is in the journey. Keep moving forward just like a river

Illan Shamir

You cannot touch the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of your life. The beauty is in the journey.  We are always doing things for the first time, and the landscape will always be new as we move along our life journey. Let’s try to face any novelties with joy and not with fear because it is pointless to fear what cannot be avoided.

Rivers move continuously as if nothing can stop them, they are always in a forward motion, just like our lives which we cannot rewind except in our imagination.  We should not wallow in our past suffering or unpleasant memories. Instead of becoming stuck in the past or worrying about what could or could not have been, we should move on with our lives focusing on the present moment and what we can do at this very moment to improve our lives.  

Fear by Khalil Gibran – Narrated by Joanne Reed

             

Fear

It is said that before entering the sea a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has travelled from the peaks of the mountains the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast that to enter there seems nothing more than to disappear forever. But there is no other way. The river cannot go back. Nobody can go back.

To go back is impossible in existence. The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean. Because only then will fear disappear. Because that’s where the river will know

It’s not about disappearing into the ocean. But of becoming the ocean.

Khalil Gibran

Advice from a river: Adapt to change and circumstances

Through twists and turns and numerous obstacles, rivers negotiate their way until they reach their destination. They flow fast when the terrain is favorable and when they encounter difficult obstacles, they negotiate their way around them. Stones should be avoided as much as possible. Trying to break a stone is a waste of your time and energy. Go around them.

“Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But with time water will wear away rock which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox. What is soft is strong”.

Lao Tzu
Rivers represent the forward motion of time – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

The same applies to our life. We should apply ourselves to take advantage of favorable circumstances and negotiate our way through problems and difficulties. We should be flexible in our approach and avoid acting with the rigidity of a rock. We should practice the art of humility, surrender to the circumstances, and go with the flow when the circumstances recommend us to be flexible. But being flexible doesn’t mean that we should bend backward to everything and everyone. It means that we should choose our battles carefully. Some fights are worth fighting and others aren’t so. When comes a time for us to be strong and bold we should emulate the strength of water rapids coming down the valley with purpose and intent.

River flow is not constant, sometimes it runs fast when the terrain is favorable, other times it stops flowing joyfully when it enters a hole or encounters dry season. The only way to get out of this dry hole is to call on time as your ally. Call for patience and perseverance, the dry season will not last forever. When the right moment comes the hollow fills up and the water can flow again.

Advice from a river: Spend your time wisely, once spent you can never get it back

Rivers represent the forward motion of time. Rivers symbolize the impermanence and change that are inherent in our existence. Time is of the essence; it is the most valuable asset each person has. Every day when we wake-up, each one of us has the same amount of time to live a meaningful life, to learn, to give, to share, to experience, to make a difference, to be who you really want to be.

We all have just twenty-four hours a day to do all those things. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. You must make the most of time, because as it ticks by and the days turn into weeks, then into months, and then into years; life can pass you by before you know it. Don’t wait all week for the weekend – enjoy each day as it comes. Don’t wait all year for the summer – enjoy each season as it comes. Don’t wait all your life to be happy – happiness happens every day.

The Value of Time “To realize the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of one month, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of one week, ask a writer of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of one day, ask an applicant who missed a job interview. To realize the value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of one minute, ask the person who just missed his plane. To realize the value of one second, ask a person who has survived an accident. To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.”

Extract from Chapter 2 of “This Is Your Quest’

The Quest for most of us is to understand that time is of the essence. Time is the most valuable commodity that each of us have. Once spent, you can never get it back, just like a river that flows you cannot go back. Spend it wisely. Live you life just like a river.

Thank you for spending the time to read this article.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

How to Introduce Just Me Myself and I

This Is Your Quest - A story that you want to hear. Trust me I am the author

How to introduce just me myself and I

Writing your own bio feels strange. How to write an author biography without sounding like a narcissistic-egocentric-wannabe-somebody desperate for attention?  This blog article, just me myself and I, was originally to introduce myself for the About Me Stories on the Medium website. After all, how will your readers know who wrote your wonderful articles if you don’t tell them!

The short version of my story reads like this. I am a contract lawyer by profession. I currently live in Seoul, South Korea, with my husband, two teenage daughters, dogs, and two cats. I stepped out of the legal world a couple of years ago into the literary arena and am now a published author, blogger, and newbie YouTuber.

For those unsatiated by that rather brief introduction, please read on. There is more meat-on-the-bones below if you’d like to connect with me as a regular human being, rather than just a very accomplished celebrity (ahem).

Me; the author who considers herself an artist

I became an author following the advice of Toni Morrison:

“If there is a book that you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it”.

Toni Morrison

There wasn’t a book that dealt with all the subjects I was interested in. I couldn’t find a book that inspired me but challenged me all the same, a book that could act as a compass when I was feeling lost, a book that could educate, heal and illuminate the mind. So, I decided that I should write such a book myself.

The title of my book is This Is your Quest: Your Mission: To Experience Happiness Along the Way. The book itself is a journey, it guides and coaches the reader to adopt an explorer mindset in their own Quest towards happiness through the trifecta of money, love, and health. The book provides valuable lessons from history, philosophy, and economics.

If you decide to read my book, you will be exposed to concepts, philosophies, and a way of thinking that was perhaps not so obvious before. I see my book as a small beam of light that shines in the distance, a guide for curious and lost souls. I hope it helps them find some clarity, comfort, and the inspiration to become the best version of themselves. This is my wish, and This Is My Quest.

What makes someone an artist?

“An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”

Charles Bukowski

There’s no easy way to define what makes someone an artist, but I enjoy describing myself as one. If you want people to see you as an artist, you must introduce yourself as one, even if you make a living in another way. Artists use their hands and mind to create new things. They appreciate beauty, unstructured activities, and variety. They enjoy interesting and unusual people, sights, textures, and sounds: these unstructured situations and the chance to use my creativity and imagination suit my current state of mind.

I am an artist

I am a creator of ideas.
Swimming in a sparkling see of imagination,
A magician of sorts,
Turning thoughts of,
Wonderment into pieces of originality,
Each creation showcases,
My own personal journey,
My worries, dreams, and ambitions,
Everything I love and everything I fear,
All that I was yesterday and all that I’ll be tomorrow,
Is neatly contained in my glorious creations,
When you glance over my work, you are catching,
A glimpse of my soul,
For a part of me is each piece I create,
I march to my own beat and wildly dance to my own rhythm,
Passion runs through my veins,
As emotions are fuel for my craft,
Certain pieces I protect and keep to myself,
While others I’ll share with the world,
I am a creative beacon shining my light brightly,
For all the universe to see.

The Artist

Myself; the blogger and wannabe YouTuber

Blogging is a new passion of mine. It is not always easy to know what to blog about as an author, but blogging gives me a platform to express myself and write about anything I feel like. Things that nourish and educate, a dash of philosophy, plenty of good vibes, and a little je ne sais quoi.

And that is where storytelling comes into the frame.

Authors, bloggers, and YouTubers are first and foremost storytellers. There are many ways to learn valuable life lessons that help us become a little smarter and wiser. One method is through trial, error, and personal experience. Another is through storytelling.

A downside of having to learn things firsthand is the suffering that accompanies it. Learning from someone else’s struggle and ordeals is a much less painful way to go get the same benefit. And that’s why storytelling is such an important art. Stories teach us about life, about ourselves, and about others.

Below a few samples of my recent blog articles. Please consume without moderation (and feel free to share them with your friends and family).

  1. The six most important lessons I learned this year.
  2. Should you take the path of least resistance?
  3. Why you should never let a good crisis go to waste.
  4. My thanksgiving message be like a wild turkey.
  5. How to gain wisdom? Read some Aesop’s Fables.
  6. How to find Meaning in Life. The Secret is revealed…
  7. When Life gives you, lemons make whatever you want
  8. Want to break social distancing? Feel the power of music

I; the person behind the author, blogger and wannabe YouTuber

I’m a biker girl. I like motorbikes for several reasons, but the key is the oneness I feel between me and the machine. Riding a motorbike makes me happy. There is no mindlessness when ride. I am alert and focused; my inner child is activated. I enjoy the thrill, the vulnerability, the freedom, and the wind blowing through my hair.

Me, Myself, and I. “Life is a journey, enjoy the ride.”

Wonder Woman is my favorite superhero movie. The main character is a kick-ass female demigod raised by a tribe of powerful female warriors. These women, or Amazons, display exceptional riding skills, courage and excel in combat and the art of self-defense. Wonder Woman herself symbolizes strength, self-reliance, sisterhood, and mutual support among women. 

As a woman and the mother of two teenage daughters, I completely adhere to the principle that women should be self-reliant and that women can be feminine and strong at the same time. The old Barbie Girl stereotype that I grew up with when I was a child didn’t do it for me; it was too narrow, it portrayed women as one-dimensional characters, pretty and accessorized to impress her boyfriend, Ken. Wonder Woman, on the other hand, is a much better role model. I am also a martial artist. I practice Muay Thai several times a week. A woman who displays a multi-dimensional side to her, soft and hard, compassionate and ruthless when necessary. Girls feel empowered, Practice martial art.

Me, Myself and I. Girl Power. Kaboom!

I hope this article has helped you see me person through a new, more personal lens. Thank you for taking the time to read about just me myself and I.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.

The Six Most Important Lessons I Learned This Year

Lessons I Learned this year

The six most important lessons I learned this year

2020 is getting to a close. Thank goodness for that. If I had to choose one word to describe the year when everything happened and nothing happened all at once, it would be INSANE. I have no qualms leaving 2020 behind me wishing for next year to be much less insane. It is customary during this time of the year to reflect on our achievements and take stock of what we learned. In this article, I would like to share with you the six most important lessons I learned this year.  

But first, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my readers and followers.

May you all have Peace and Clarity,
To be the first to latch on your door,
And Happiness to be guided to your home,
By the candlelight of Christmas,
May you have the strength to take the first step of many,
To where you want to go,
May you have the grace and wisdom,
To persist in things worth doing,
And find solace in the knowledge that,
That in itself is remarkable.

©JoanneReed

The year 2020 has taught me the following lessons:

  1. Learn the art of living in uncertain times.
  2. Never let a good crisis go to waste.
  3. When life gives you lemons, make whatever you want.
  4. Cultivate wisdom.
  5. Patience is a gift when given or received.
  6. And last but not least, feel the power of music.

Lesson 1: Learn the art of living in uncertain times

For the first time in recorded human history, the whole world is simultaneously living in a state of deep uncertainty. People are feeling worried, anxious, scared, and helpless. Nobody knows what is going to happen next, so the lesson I learned this year is that we should get comfortable being uncomfortable while uncertainty reigns.

Do not attempt to predict Black Swan Events but build robustness to their negative impacts – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

“Uncertainty is the very condition that impels man to unfold his powers. As we navigate our own uncertain times together, may a thousand flowers of sanity bloom, each valid so long as it is viable in anchoring the human spirit it animates. And may we remember the myriad terrors and uncertainties preceding our own, which have served as unexpected awakenings from some of our most perilous civilization slumbers.”
– Erich Fromm

We live everyday with the knowledge of our staggering fragility, and we know how physiologically vulnerable our body and mind can be. We are aware that terrible outcomes are always possible and often probable.  Your Quest as a Human being is to protect yourself against the danger of losing your life but also against the danger of losing your mind.

This knowledge of our own vulnerability makes us go back and forth between ecstatic optimism and sheer despair.  In order to cope with that awareness and to counterweigh the heavy sense of our own fragility we often rely on the hope that somehow, we will be strong enough to withstand rare and unexpected events, which the author Nassim Taleb refers to as Black Swans Events.

In his book, Taleb urged his readers to not attempt to predict Black Swan Events but to build robustness to their negative impacts. The world is too complex for anyone to understand or predict exactly what is going to happen, and rather than naively try to predict Black Swan Events, we just need to be aware of the possibility and adjust to their existence, by becoming antifragile. All systems can be categorized as fragile, robust or antifragile. Fragile things are exposed and destroyed by volatility, Robust things resist, and Anti-fragile things benefit from it. 

“Some things benefit from shock; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, stressors and uncertainty. Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shock and stay the same, the antifragile gets better”

Nassim Taleb

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject.

Lesson 2: Never let a good crisis go to waste

Life is a journey, sometimes the road is nice and pleasant and other times it is rocky, arduous, dangerous and most unpleasant. No one voluntarily chooses to go down the unpleasant road, except that sometimes there is nowhere to go but down that road.

Never let a good crisis go to waste. Think, create, innovate – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

So much of what happened this year is outside our control. Instead of worrying about things we can’t change, we should focus instead on the things that we can control. There is always a silver lining on the horizon, even if we can’t see it yet. Never let a good crisis go to waste.  One way to achieve this is to focus your energy on a purpose, a mission, a passion, something that keeps you in a state of flow. And this is how you find your opportunity, your silver lining.

For some people finding their passion is easy, they were born knowing what it was. For others, finding their passion is not so obvious. The problem is that a lot of people believe that their passion is hiding somewhere, maybe behind a tree or underneath a rock. The truth is that our passion comes first from doing things, and then doing them right.  We should get into the habit of injecting passion into all the things that we do. If we do this consistently, a time will come when something will stand out above all the other things, and that is the very thing that we should devote more time to doing passionately. That’s all there is to it, just do it.

It is possible to have a passion and still feel demotivated and deflated because you can’t see any results. The problem these days is that people are impatient, they expect instantaneous results. That’s not how things work. Being successful at something requires hard work, sweat, tears, discipline and patience. Don’t focus on the outcome, focus on the work itself. Pursue the things you love doing and devote yourself to hone your craft on a daily basis. Eventually, people will not be able to take their eyes off you.

If you still feel dispassionate and have no passion to create anything, listen to the philosopher Carl Jung who may give you some ideas.

“If you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself. To give style to one’s character is a great and rare art.”

Carl Jung

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject.

Lessons 3: When life gives you lemons, make whatever you want

You have all heard of the expression When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay optimistic and to keep fighting in the face of adversity or misfortune.  Lemon suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making lemonade with lemons that are being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive and desirable.

When Life gives you lemons make whatever you want – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

All too often, our circumstances are dictated and influenced by what people tell us is realistic or feasible. Life gave me lemons, but right now I am not in the mood to make lemonade. Actually, I have a better idea, instead of using the lemons to make lemonade I am going to use the seeds and grow a whole orchard of lemons. Now, instead of having a few lemons to make a pot of lemonade, I find myself with tons of lemons that I can sell to people who want to make lemonade.  Not a bad way to use lemons, right?

Now that I have all those lemons, I am thinking that it is time for me to stretch myself a little bit further and instead of lemons I want oranges. How can I turn lemons into oranges? I can become an alchemist. When one mention the term ‘alchemist’ we have this picture in our mind of an old bearded man that looks like Merlin (the greatest wizard of all ), trying to turn lead into gold. But in contemporary society, alchemy is a term used to describe the ability that people have to manifest personal change, an ability that we all possess.

Inner alchemy provides us the means to better understand ourselves, the universe we live in and our purpose in life. But in order to achieve that you have to let go of the old you and make room for the new you.  Think of your negative thoughts, old beliefs and habits as lead.  Your mission as an alchemist is to turn lead into gold which is your new you, the happy, healthy and emotionally balanced new you.

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject.

Lesson 4: Cultivate wisdom

Energy moves down the path of least resistance in the environment it finds itself, be it electricity through a circuit or water in a river. Just look at the way water runs downhill; it will always find the path that allows it to flow in the easiest way possible.

Be Like water – Choose the path of less resistance – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

To take the path of least resistance, be like water. Bruce Lee’s legacy as a martial artist, movie star and deep thinker remains very much alive today; there is so much we can learn from him, still.

“BE LIKE WATER. Don’t get set into one form, adapt it, build your own and let it grow.  When you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. In order to control myself, I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature. BE LIKE WATER. The nature of water is so fine that it is impossible to grasp a handful of it. Strike it, yet it does not suffer hurt. Stab it and it is not wounded. Sever it, yet it is not divided. It has no shape of his own but mold itself to the receptable that contains it. BE LIKE WATER. When water is heated it turns into steam, it is invisible, but it has enough power to split the Earth itself. When frozen it crystallizes into a mighty rock. First it is turbulent like the Niagara Falls then calm like a spring on a hot summer day. BE LIKE WATER.”

Bruce Lee

To learn the path of least resistance, observe nature. Everything in nature has its own purpose.  A tree grows towards the sun, takes carbon dioxide and releases oxygen. Take a leaf during fall, the dying leaf does not resist the natural circle of life, it bursts with magnificent beauty in the grand finale before its death, living space for winter to settle in. With spring new leaves will burst into life in an onslaught of colors. Everything follows its natural course. Human nature is no different.

We have to be vigilant because sometimes the path of least resistance disguises itself as the right path for us but it is the wrong one.  Do not equate the path of least resistance with the easiest path to follow. Sometimes, we make choices based on what is easiest, most pleasant or least painful.  When we do this, we may gain comfort in the short term, but we may also end up gaining a lot of pain in the long run.  It is easier and more comfortable to sit in front of the TV rather than go to a fitness class. It is easier to lose our temper than control it.  It is easier to eat ice cream and cake rather than eat kale. In those instances, taking the path of least resistance is an option, but it is the option that will not help us grow and become the best version of ourselves. You can’t get fit by sitting on your sofa eating ice cream every day, you will have to drag yourself to the gym and start lifting those weights. Without the resistance of a barbell, a muscle won’t grow.

To experience the path of least resistance, be like a seed. Our environment is much like a field in which we plant a seed. Depending on the ground and the type of environment where you plant a seed, some seeds will grow well, and others won’t. The seeds that are planted in a nourishing environment, full of good nutrients will grow. We won’t see the results straight away, but over the years the seed to grow into a mature tree. In the same regard, we must learn to treat our mind just like a garden. We must ensure that weeds and unwanted plants are not robbing and stealing the nutrients that are needed for the tree to grow and bear fruits.

“Your mind is a garden. You can grow flowers, or you can grow weeds.”

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject.

Lesson 5: Patience is a gift when given or received

What is patience? It is essentially experiencing a certain period of time without any rewards. Waiting can drive you crazy, make you irritable, angry, frustrated, unhinged, but at the end of the day, those roller coasters of emotions will not affect the outcome one inch. If things are not happening as fast as you expected it, the best thing to do is to go with the flow and make the extra time count for something. Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation; it doesn’t make you a doormat or unable to set boundaries with people.

Good Things happen to those who can wait – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Patience is power.  It is a way for you to practice emotional freedom. You can choose to be annoyed and frustrated by the delay or you can choose to use the time and turn it into something productive.  It is your choice.  It doesn’t come naturally but you can learn to transform frustration and adversity into patience.

“Patience is essential to daily life and might be the key to a happy one. Having patience means being able to wait calmy in the face of frustration or adversity. So anywhere there is frustration or adversity, we have the opportunity to practice it.”

Dr Judith Orloff

We have a tendency to want to take the quickest, easiest path to our goals, we are impatient and want to see results quickly, but remember “there is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” The best way to cultivate our natural impatience is to cultivate a kind of pleasure in pain, like an athlete, you come to enjoy rigorous practice, pushing past your limits, and resisting the easy way out.

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject.

Lesson 6: Feel the power of music

Music has a unique ability to bring people together.  From a national anthem to a church hymn, or your favorite rock or hip hop song, music has the amazing ability to unite us, to pull us together as we listen, sing, dance and rejoice in the pure beauty of the  notes and melody suspended in the air.

Feel the power of music. Music will set you free – Photo by @freepik via freepik.com

Music is a universal language that can unite, heal, and set people free from their fear, their worries, their loneliness. Regardless of which language you speak and where in the world you call home, music and dance can unite and break down barriers in a magical way. Dance is a universal language and so is music. So, dance your own dance and sing your own song. Work your magic and sprinkle seeds of love everywhere you go.

Music has an amazing ability to speak to our hearts, minds and soul. It is like a prayer that stretches out into the Universe; It is quite telling that the word Universe literally means one (Uni) song (Verse). Where words fail, music speaks, there are times where words will not be enough to appease, heal and convince, so in those moments, it’s best not to say a thing; switch on the radio, listen to your best tunes and dance like nobody’s watching.

The Universal Language of Music and Dance
To all my sisters and brothers around the world
Dance your own dance
Sing your own song
Sparkle seeds of love everywhere you go
Love is spring eternal
It is the healer of all wounds
Do not drown in anger and hurt
When you can swim in a sea of love

©Joanne Reed

For a more detailed analysis, I invite you to read the full article I wrote on this subject

And this, my dear companion, is your Quest.

If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest, or Facebook, or you may also like:

If you wish to support my work you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon, or from Barnes & Noble. The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.  

You can also follow me on my  FaceBook Page and sign up for a  Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.