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Self-Help

Positivity vs. Negativity – Battle of the Fittest

Martial Arts

Art takes many forms; as an author, I consider myself an artist. In my free time, I am also a ‘martial artist’. The term ‘martial arts’ is closely associated with the fighting arts of East Asia; the term is however derived from Latin and means ‘arts of Mars,’ the Roman god of war. I practice Muay Thai (also known as Kick Boxing); the word ‘muay’ comes from the Sanskrit word ‘wavya’ which means ‘bind together’ and the word ‘thai’ refers to the country Thailand. Its generic name means ‘unarmed combat,’ a true test in any battle of the fittest.

Muay Thai in Namsan Park, Seoul

Martial arts have health and spiritual benefits; the spiritual benefits include teaching self-respect, respect for others, patience, humility, self-control and modesty, the health benefits derived from the conditioning that helps keep the body fit, strong and properly toned. To be effective, a good Muay Thai fighter must keep his physical and mental condition in balance, he must move with speed, but also show common sense and intelligence, he must train both his mind and his body with dedication, concentration, and discipline. Muay Thai also develops a sense of brotherhood, a fighter will help others when the opportunity arises, and will never resort to fighting unless there is no other option available.

The history of Muay Thai can be traced to the middle of the 18th century. During battles between the Burmese of the Konbaung Dynasty and Siam, the famous fighter Nai Khanomtom was captured. The Burmese knew of his expertise in hand-to-hand combat and gave him an opportunity to fight for his freedom. Nai Khanomtom managed to knock out ten consecutive Burmese contenders. Impressed by his skill, he was freed and returned to Siam where his fighting style became known as Muay Thai and later recognized as a national sport.

Getting Balanced

If you ever feel a bit off-balance or stressed-out I recommend you find a Muay Thai class and develop your fighting spirit because, perhaps without realizing it, we are all engaged in fierce battles every day. These battles occur within us between positivity and negativity. For the sake of this article, I will call positivity ‘Yang’ (positive, bright, masculine) and negativity ‘Yin’ (negative, dark, feminine). Picture those two in a ring; if your first impulse is to cheer and expect ‘Yang’ to win, I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken, in a battle of the fittest, ‘Yin‘ would triumph.

Yin and Yang in the Battle of the Fittest

Battle of the Fittest – Negativity

Our brain has a negative bias, it loves negativity! Our brain is wired with a much greater sensitivity to unpleasant rather than pleasant news. Dr John Cacioppo, the ‘Scientist of Loneliness’ from  Ohio State University, conducted a study to demonstrate this effect by contrasting the effect on the brain of pictures arousing positive feelings (such as sport cars, holiday shots, ice creams, etc.), negative feelings (such as mutilated faces or dead cats), and, for good measure pictures to arouse neutral feelings (of everyday objects, such as dinners plate and hair dryers).

The subjects had their brain activity recorded during the experiment providing data to Dr. Cacioppo to analyze. The results showed very clearly that our brain reacts more strongly to negative rather than positive stimuli. Our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat rather than good news and that information is stored in our short to long term memory. This is why ‘Yin’ has a better chance of winning against ‘Yang.’

Our weighting of negative input is an evolutionary development to keep us out of harm’s way. Back in prehistory, when humans faced life or death situations every day, it was far more important for the brain to respond to negative rather than positive stimuli. If a wild animal charged towards you, you needed to fight or run away and to take that decision in a split-second. But, in non-threatening situations, like being offered food, or a gift, there is no such requirement for speed – your brain can react very slowly. To make matters worse, not only do we react more quickly to negative experiences, we are looking for them all the time. This makes it extremely easy for our minds to get into a negative feedback loop; you are hyper-aware of negativity and when it happens, you react quicker, it impacts you more and you remember it for longer. One scientist described the brain like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones. 

Positive Outlook

When faced with decisions or uncertainties, it is natural to have a fear of the unknown, I confess – this happens to me a lot, which creates a lot of anxiety and negative emotions.  Unfortunately, the nature of the world is uncertain; nobody knows what will happen tomorrow, and it is important to maintain a positive outlook.

According to Sadhguru, Indian yogi, mystic, and author:

you cannot overcome something which does not exist. Your fear is always about something that does not exist. Fear is happening because of excessive imagination. It is about things that haven’t happened yet, but you are creating those things in your mind. Fear means that you are producing horror movies in your mind. Produce something else, produce a comedy, a love story, an action movie.”

In the battle of the fittest, it is important to have a positive outlook and understand that we all have a natural tendency to be negative; you must train yourself to be a ‘Yang.’ Being positive, overcoming negative emotions requires dedication, discipline, and patience – just like with Muay Thai – and just like being a successful Muay Thai fighter it is necessary to train your body and spirit to work together, so that when the time comes to do battle against ‘Yin,’ the negative spirit, the odds will be in your favor.

And this, my Dear Friend is your Quest.


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For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

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About the Book

Book Review from London – The Most Interesting Self Help Book I Came Across

This Is Your Quest is a self-help book, I despise the phrase because it describes pop-psych, hippy nonsense, espousing spiritual mantras and upper colonic irrigation. If those are your tools for leading a kinder, simpler life, then so be it. However, if you want to read a book, you need something a bit more cerebral. This Is Your Quest is nothing like any other self-help book you will come across. It is an enlightening delight that defies the genre, well-written, insightful and ever so sincere. The approach is individual, the words have depth and the message is uplifting and thoughtful”.

“The book itself is a journey, and Reed excels at holding the hand of her guest readers. There is a gentle voice to the message. In between each chapter, she includes letters to the readers, recapping what’s has been learned and continually encouraging growth”.

“There is a surprising amount of depth in the presentation. I learnt a lot while reading it. I am not a major history nerd, but history was what hooked me. I think it is a really interesting way to break down happiness and comment on the idea of our worth and potential quests”.


If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook, or you may also like:

For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

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Book Review – Jan Haringa from Holland

“Interesting reading from beginning until the end, now and then I felt like being at school again. I am familiar with the name Beguine women but never realized their background. I lived in Netherlands in a city called Haarlem about 20km West of Amsterdam. Haarlem is an old city with a long history and still has a Beguinage (Beguine courtyard) which is a national monument. I always took it at face value without knowing the history.

Beguine Courtyard Amsterdam

The book is well organized which is also important. Thanks for this book. I wish many people read it.”

Originally there were 37 beguine (Dutch” begijn”), courtyards (dutch “hofjes”), but most of them were destroyed by the Calvinists during the religious conflicts. Only two very beautiful beguinages remain today: Amsterdam and Breda, which have been protected by the Orange-Nassau family.

Beguine Woman, by
Margaretha de Goede-Taal

Extract from “This Is Your Quest” – Chapter 20 – Page 222:

“The tale of the Beguine Women who lived independently in the Middle Ages, who became very influential through their trades as healers & educators and their gifts as oracles, is a story worth telling. The Beguines Women were usually unmarried women, skilled in the art of herbal medicine and healing. They looked like nuns but never swore allegiance to any formal church organization.They organized themselves into self-sufficient villages where they catered for most of their needs themselves. They built schools for young girls. They built hospitals, cemeteries and pharmacies. They also became safe oasis for women who were left destitute. Slowly but surely the Beguine Women started to become very influential. This tremendous success drew a lot of jealousy from the clergy who saw them as direct competition to their authority and power…”

To find out how this story ends you have to read it in Chapter 20 of my book.


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For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

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About the Book

Breaking News! Joanne Reed’s Interview with Ariana Diaries

My gratitude goes to Ariana Diaries for giving me the opportunity to talk to her about How to discover your Life’s Quest.

When asked why her self-help book is different from others Joanne Reed said:

People who read self-help books are interested in personal development and self-actualization. Most self-help books are written from the perspective of the author and through their own expertise, knowledge & personal experience in a particular area, and it usually takes the form of a list of rules which the reader should follow in order to achieve whichever objectives they set. My approach was different, I used a multi-dimensional angle to the story. I did not tell people what to do and how they should lead their lives; I did not set rules, that they should abide by. Rather lead readers on their own Quest, that will lead them to the right path for them. I shared wisdom and life-lessons that I found through sources in history and myriad philosophies. As a reader, you must be ready to work your own path, while shadowing in the footsteps of explorers, philosophers, authors & influencers who succeeded in their own Quest.”

For the full article please check Ariana Diaries blog

And keep tuned-in here for regular updates:


If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook, or you may also like:

For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

 

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Chinese Wisdom

To celebrate Lunar New Year, I would like to share with you some Chinese wisdom provided by Lao Tzu who was an ancient Chinese philosopher, writer and founder of Taoism. His name means “Old Master”.

The Year of the Pig promises to be a year filled with prosperity, good fortune & abundance. I explained in Chapter 11 of my book that the word prosperity comes from the latin root prosperitas which means to go forward hopefully, in other words, it is an attitude towards life. Being prosperous therefore is not a destination, it is a journey. 

Lao Tzu teaches us that Truly, the greatest gift you have to give, is that of your own self-transformation and that A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step.

Stop trying to leave, and you will arrive. Stop seeking, and you will see. Stop running away, and you will be found. By letting go it all gets done.

Photos taken at the Korean National Folk Museum, Seoul


If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook, or you may also like:

For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.

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Media Exposure – Conquer the Long & Winding Road to Happiness

Thank you  to the Indian Magazine Inidna for writing 8 articles on This Is Your Quest and for recommending my book to their readers! 

According to the journalist Dipsikha Samantaray This Is Your Quest is one of the best and most inspirational books of all time. In fact it is one of the best self-help book published in the past decades!

According to journalist Soudami Mohapatra:

This Is Your Quest will take you on a roller coaster ride through in-depth discussions on philosophy, socio-economic discourse and truth-seeking subjects. This book will entice, surprise, challenge your point of view but will also inspire and guide you to find fulfillment and find answers from within self.

Links to all the articles are below, thank you Indidna!

Boost up your self-confidence and develop the skills of learning from the failures

This Is Your Quest: Directing You Towards Success, Happiness & Prosperity

Give Yourself An Inspiration Boost With Book ‘This Is Your Quest”

This Is Your Quest – Your Guide To Happiness, Prosperity & Success

What Advantages We will Get from the Book “This is Your Quest”?

“This is your Quest”- A Book about Prosperity, Self-help, Happiness, Philosophy & Success

Gracing with ease and strengthening life using self-help

Conquer the long and winding road to happiness

What Advantages We will Get from the Book “This is Your Quest”?


If you liked this post you can follow me on Instagram, Pinterest or Facebook, or you may also like:

For more on this subject you can purchase my book This is Your Quest online at BookLocker, from Amazon or from Barnes & Noble.  The Ebook version is available on Amazon (Kindle), Barnes & Noble (Nook), Apple (iBooks) & Kobo. Check out my Amazon Author Page here or my listing on Booksradar.com.