The Reed Manga Series - Episode 2 - Finding Your Purpose
Find your purpose. One of the greatest Quests we embark upon is the pursuit of Purpose. It’s a journey that often feels like groping in the dark, searching for that elusive spark that sets our souls ablaze. Yet, finding your Purpose isn’t about stumbling upon a hidden treasure; it’s about deliberate introspection, embracing your unique talents, and aligning your passions with your authentic self.
It requires peeling back the layers of societal conditioning and daring to confront the raw, unfiltered truth of who you are. Only through this journey of self-discovery can you unlock the door to your Purpose, illuminating the path ahead with clarity and conviction. So, embrace the challenge, for within the depths of your being lies a purpose waiting to be unveiled—a purpose that will not only enrich your life but also leave an indelible mark on the world.
You find your Purpose by identifying what ignites your soul
The Reed Manga Series – Episode 2 – Find Your Purpose – Those Characters are one-of-a-kind. They have been brought to life by Joanne Reed via Dell-E3
Years ago, I discovered that what fuelS my soul is the practice of martial arts (Krav Maga & Muay Thai). One of the essential items for my training sessions is my Training Boxing Inner Gloves. When I wear them I feel in control and enveloped by an aura of mastery.
Discovering something that ignites your soul is akin to stumbling upon a hidden oasis in the desert. For many, me included, it’s often found in the pursuit of a passion. In my case, the realms of martial arts have been the crucible where my soul finds its fire.
The discipline, the adrenaline rush, and the constant striving for improvement not only provide physical benefits but also nourish the spirit. Whether it’s the precision of a well-executed kick or the humility gained from a defeat in a sparring match, martial arts offer a canvas for self-discovery and growth.
Through the relentless practice of Krav Maga and Muay Thai, I have not only honed my physical abilities but also unearthed layers of resilience and determination within myself that I never knew existed. It’s in the dojo, amidst the sweat and the struggle, that I find solace and clarity—a sanctuary where I am free to explore the depths of my potential and embrace the true essence of who I am.
Through the rhythmic cadence of punches, kicks, and knee strikes, I release stress and tension, purging negativity from my mind and body. With each strike, I reclaim a sense of control and empowerment, confronting my fears head-on and emerging stronger on the other side. In addition, the camaraderie forged with fellow practitioners fosters a sense of belonging and support, creating a nurturing environment for personal growth.
You find your Purpose by leveraging your unique talent and skills
The Reed Manga Series – Episode 2 – Find Your Purpose. Those characters are one-of-a-kind. They have been brought to life by Joanne Reed via Dell-E3.
Leveraging your unique talents and skills is paramount in your Quest for Purpose. Each of us possesses a distinct set of strengths waiting to be unearthed and harnessed. It’s about recognizing what you excel at and weaving it into the fabric of your daily activities. Whether you’re a master of words, a maestro of numbers, or a virtuoso of emotions, there’s a place for your talents. By embracing what sets you apart, you not only enrich your own journey but also contribute to the greater good with the gift of your uniqueness.
In a world that often emphasizes conformity, daring to embrace your individuality can be a revolutionary act. Your unique perspective, skills, and experiences offer a fresh lens through which to tackle all kinds of problems and pave new paths forward. It’s in the fusion of diverse talents and perspectives that innovation thrives and progress is made. So, don’t shy away from your quirks or downplay your strengths—embrace them wholeheartedly and let them guide you towards a purpose that is uniquely yours. As you do so, you not only unlock your own potential but also inspire others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of empowerment and transformation that reverberates far beyond your own journey.
You find your purpose by ensuring that it is aligned with your authentic self
The Reed Manga Series – Episode 2 – Find Your Purpose – Those characters are one-of-a-kind.They have been brought to life by Joanne Reed via Dell-E3
However, the pursuit of purpose is not merely about chasing external validation or societal expectations. It’s about delving deep within oneself to unearth the essence of who you truly are. Ensuring that your purpose aligns with your authentic self requires introspection, self-awareness, and the courage to break free from the shackles of conformity. It’s about peeling away the layers of societal conditioning and embracing the raw, unfiltered truth of your being. Only then can you forge a purpose that resonates with the core of your being, guiding you towards a life of fulfillment and meaning.
In a world that often bombards us with messages of who we should be and what we should strive for, it takes courage to silence the noise and listen to the whispers of our own hearts. Embracing your authentic self means honoring your passions, values, and aspirations, even if they diverge from the mainstream narrative. It means daring to chart your own course, unapologetically and authentically, regardless of the judgments or expectations of others. As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, remember that your truth is your greatest compass, guiding you towards a purpose that is uniquely yours.
Discover how you can make a difference.
The Reed Manga Series – Episode 2 – Find Your Purpose. Those characters are one-of-a-kind. They have been brought to life by Joanne Reed via Dell-E3
In the realm of martial arts, the potential to make a difference transcends the boundaries of the dojo. Beyond honing physical prowess, martial arts serve as a catalyst for empowerment and transformation.
The practice of martial arts can have a profound impact on people, especially on women. Learning self-defense techniques instills in you a sense of confidence that you are able to defend yourself in the physical and mental realm. Martial arts empower women to navigate life’s adversities with courage and resilience. It’s about more than just throwing punches and kicks; it’s about equipping individuals with the tools to defend themselves, both physically and mentally. Through martial arts, we have the power to shatter stereotypes, defy expectations, and pave the way for a world where every woman feels empowered to stand tall and claim her strength.
Finding your Purpose is not a destination but a journey—a journey of self-discovery, growth, and contribution. It’s about finding something that ignites your soul, leveraging your unique talents, aligning with your authentic self, and making a difference in the lives of others. Whether it’s through the discipline of martial arts or any other avenue, the key lies in embracing who you are and channeling that essence into a force for good. So, dare to embark on this odyssey, for within the depths of your being lies a purpose waiting to be unveiled—a purpose that will not only enrich your life but also leave an indelible mark on the world.
For a front-row seat and exclusive access to Part 2, join me on Ko-Fi as we embark on a journey filled with words, wonder, and endless possibilities.
In the complex tapestry of human emotions and behaviors, understanding the human need for control is an important task, because the desire for control weaves a prominent threat. From the mundane routines of daily life to the grand schemes of our dreams and aspirations, to the total control of authorities and government, the Quest for control influences our decisions and shapes our interactions with the world. But why do we crave control so fervently, and how does this craving intertwine with our experiences of fear, insecurity, and uncertainty?
At its core, the need for control stems from a fundamental human instinct for survival. From our earliest ancestors grappling with the unpredictability of the natural world to modern individuals navigating the complexities of society, exerting control provides a sense of security in an otherwise chaotic environment. When we feel in control, we believe we can influence outcomes, mitigate risks, and safeguard our well-being.
Understanding the Human need for control : Navigating Fear, Insecurity and Uncertainty
Understanding the need for control. Photo from Freepik Via Freepik.com
Fear
Fear serves as a potent catalyst for our pursuit of control. Whether it’s the fear of failure, rejection, or physical harm, our innate response is often to seek ways to regain a sense of control over our circumstances. This can manifest in various forms, from meticulously planning every detail of our lives to avoiding situations that provoke anxiety or uncertainty. By exerting control, we attempt to preemptively address potential threats and alleviate the discomfort brought about by fear.
Insecurity
Insecurity further fuels our desire for control, amplifying our vulnerability to external influences and internal doubts. Feelings of inadequacy or inferiority can prompt us to compensate by using control as a means of bolstering our sense of self-worth and competence. We may strive to assert authority over our surroundings, relationships, or achievements in an effort to validate our identity and alleviate that horrible feeling of insecurity that lurks beneath the surface.
Uncertainty
Life is inherently unpredictable, and no amount of planning or preparation can shield us from the myriad contingencies that lie beyond our grasp. The pursuit of absolute control becomes tantamount to becoming the main character in the movie “The Myth of Sisyphus” who with a lot of courage and perseverance rolls up that rock at the top of the mountain only to have the rock roll down to the bottom every time he reaches the top. In our relentless Quest for certainty, we inadvertently amplify our anxieties and magnify the very fears we seek to quell. In this process, we become blind to the beauty and richness of life’s uncertainties. Our need for control will no doubt hinder our ability to experience spontaneity, creativity, and growth.
Understanding the need for control especially when it becomes excessive
Understanding Human Need for Control. Photo from Freepik via Freepik.com
Excessive need for control can manifest in various aspects of life, often stemming from a deep-seated fear of uncertainty, failure, or loss. In interpersonal relationships, this need may result in micromanaging behaviors, where individuals feel compelled to oversee and control every aspect of the people living under their roof. Being a control freak is not a good look. Such behavior can strain relationships, erode trust, and breed resentment, as the incessant need for control communicates a lack of faith in the other person’s abilities and judgments.
In the professional realm, an excessive need for control may lead to an unpleasant work environment characterized by rigid hierarchies, bureaucratic red tape, and limited innovation. Employees may feel disempowered, demotivated, and fearful.
On a personal level, an overwhelming need for control can manifest as perfectionism, where individuals set impossibly high standards for themselves and others, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout.
This relentless pursuit of control is paradoxically self-defeating, as it robs individuals of the opportunity to learn from failures, adapt to change, and embrace the inherent unpredictability of life.
Furthermore, an excessive need for control can manifest in destructive coping mechanisms such as obsessive-compulsive behaviors, eating disorders, or substance abuse, as individuals seek to exert control over their emotions and surroundings in unhealthy ways.
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I wrote this article after receiving a request from my first Silver Member. In Part 2 I deal with
How governments exert control over their population through various mechanisms:
Rules & Regulations
Propaganda and censorship
Economic Control
Shadow banning and Algorithms.
Total Control: The convergence of Health Passport, CBDC, and Credit Scoring
Health Passport System
Central Banking Digital Currency (CBDC)
Social Credit Scores
At the extreme end of the spectrum, the human need for control can lead us straight to a “Hunger Game Society”
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Front view portrait of african young woman listening her friends. Glamorous girls talking on pink background.
In today’s fast-paced world, where opinions are formed in seconds and judgments are made swiftly, the art of listening without prejudice seems to be fading into obscurity. We live in an era dominated by constant distractions, where the cacophony of social media, news cycles, and personal biases often drown out the simple act of truly hearing one another.
Picture this: you are in the middle of a conversation, but your mind is already leapfrogging to your next witty retort or a brilliant anecdote. Then you hop onto your mobile phone where impatience pervades conversations like a silent intruder. You step into a virtual realm, where most of us spend too much time, where instant messaging and rapid-fire exchanges reign supreme, and where true listening becomes a rare commodity. Congratulations! You’ve just joined the exclusive club of impatient listeners.
The ability to listen without prejudice is not just a forgotten skill, it is a fundamental aspect of effective communication and understanding in a diverse and interconnected society.
The Lost Art of Listening Without Prejudice
The Lost Art of Listening Without prejudice. Photo by Freepik via Freepik.com
In the cacophony of voices that permeate our daily lives, the skill of listening without prejudice is an art form that is unfortunately in danger of becoming extinct.
Listening without prejudice is an art that requires patience, presence, and a willingness to suspend judgment, fully inhabit the moment and open oneself to the speaker’s perspective. It involves not just hearing words but actively engaging with them, seeking to understand the underlying thoughts, feelings, and intentions behind them.
One of the primary reasons for the decline of this art is the prevalence of echo chambers in modern society. With the rise of social media algorithms that curate content based on our past interactions and preferences, we are increasingly exposed to viewpoints that align with our own, reinforcing existing beliefs and shielding us from dissenting opinions. This creates an environment where listening without prejudice becomes increasingly challenging, as we become accustomed to hearing only what we want to hear.
Moreover, the polarizing nature of contemporary discourse has led to a culture of tribalism, where individuals identify with certain groups or ideologies and view those outside of their tribe with suspicion or hostility. In such an environment, genuine dialogue becomes difficult, not to say impossible , as people are more concerned with defending their own beliefs than with understanding those of others.
The Importance of listening without prejudice cannot be overstated.
The Lost Art of Listening Without prejudice. Photo by Freepik via Freepik.com
Listening without prejudice means approaching conversations with an open mind and a willingness to consider perspectives that may differ from our own. It requires setting aside preconceived notions, biases, and personal agenda to fully engage with what others are saying. In essence, it is about granting others the respect of being heard without judgment.
In a world characterized by diversity and complexity, it is only through open engagement with differing perspectives that we can foster mutual understanding and empathy.
Listening without prejudice is not only essential for building meaningful relationships and resolving conflicts, but it is also crucial for personal growth and intellectual development. When we approach conversations with humility and a willingness to learn from others, we open ourselves up to new ideas and insights that can broaden our horizons and challenge our assumptions. In doing so, we not only expand our own understanding of the world but also contribute to the collective wisdom of humanity.
Listening without prejudice extends beyond individual interactions to broader societal issues. In a world rife with polarization and division, the ability to listen to opposing viewpoints with an open mind is crucial for bridging ideological divides and fostering constructive dialogue. It requires us to resist the temptation to retreat into echo chambers and instead engage with perspectives that challenge our assumptions.
How can we reclaim the lost art of listening without prejudice in a world that seems increasingly polarized and fragmented?
The Lost Art of Listening Without prejudice. Photo by Freepik via Freepik.com
The answer lies in cultivating empathy, humility, and critical thinking skills. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it is essential for effective communication. By putting ourselves in the shoes of others and imagining their experiences, perspectives, and challenges we can develop a deeper appreciation for their side of the story, without having to agree with it.
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
Aristotle
Humility is the recognition of our limitations and fallibility. It requires us to acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and that we can learn from others, even those with whom we disagree. By approaching conversations with humility, we can create space for genuine dialogue and mutual respect. Listening without prejudice is instrumental in challenging our assumptions and broadening our perspectives. When we approach conversations with an open mind, we invite the possibility of learning from those whose experiences differ from our own. Each interaction becomes an opportunity for growth, as we glean insights and wisdom from diverse sources, enriching our understanding of the world and ourselves in the process.
Critical thinking is the ability to evaluate information objectively and analyze arguments logically. In an age of misinformation and propaganda, critical thinking skills are more important than ever. By questioning assumptions, examining evidence, and considering alternative viewpoints, we can become more discerning listeners and more informed participants in public discourse.
The path to listening without prejudice is not without its challenges. It requires courage to confront our own biases and discomfort in confronting perspectives that challenge our worldview. It is not given to everybody to have the courage to acknowledge the presence of bias within themselves. This requires introspection and a willingness to examine our beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions with honesty and humility. By recognizing our own biases, we can actively work to mitigate their influence on our perceptions and interactions with others.
The art of listening without prejudice is a multifaceted skill that lies at the heart of effective communication and meaningful human connection. It requires us to set aside our biases, suspend judgment, and cultivate empathy for others. By honing this skill, we can create an environment where diverse perspectives are valued and dialogues flourish. In a world that often seems fractured by differences, listening without prejudice offers a pathway to understanding, reconciliation, and mutual respect. It is a journey worth embarking on – one conversation at a time.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
All you need is love. Love is all you need. Is this true? Maybe not… Valentine’s Day is not far away and soon anything to do with love will take center stage giving people the perfect day to express their enduring love for one another; for me it is a good excuse to explore this love concept again, using various citations.
When people get together and get married, they do so with the hope and belief that they will live happily ever after, they don’t spend too much time thinking that things can go wrong further down the line. People sign on the dotted line for a love that is enduring. The Greeks call this type of love Pragma. [Feel free to read my article titled “8 Types of Love”, it is fascinating].
Pragma is a love that has aged, matured, and developed over time it is beyond the physical, it has ascended the casual to become something rare and precious. You can find Pragma in married couples who have been together for a long time. Unfortunately, Pragma is the type of love that is not easily found. We spend so much time and energy trying to find love and so little time learning how to maintain it. Pragma is the result of effort on both sides. It is the love between people who have learned to make compromises and have demonstrated patience and tolerance to make the relationship work.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Buddha.
All You Need Is Love – Photo from Freepik
The Buddhist philosophy puts a lot of emphasis on self-love, which they say is vital for health and happiness. We cannot recognize love in others unless we have it for ourselves. When we practice self-love we generate a good kind of vibe, people are drawn to us and want to be around us. So, what can we do with all that positive energy? We share it with people around us. Loving ourselves unconditionally the same way we love our children and pets is what we should strive for. But instead, we love ourselves with conditions. We expect to be happy with ourselves when we get the degree, the big job, the big salary, the perfect boyfriend/husband and the perfect body fat index.
Treat Yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Jordan Peterson
We should not however fall into the trap of believing that self-compassion gives us an excuse to be lazy, complacent and weak. Self-compassion means that you have enough self-awareness to know what your strengths and weaknesses are. Self-love is essentially about taking responsibility for one’s mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Those who practice self-love have good self-esteem because they can appreciate their accomplishments realistically while also recognizing where they have weaknesses that needs to be worked on.
On the other end of the spectrum, self-love should not be confused with narcissism and selfishness. Self-love isn’t about you ignoring everyone else’s needs, becoming super obsessed with yourself and everything you do, and acting like you are the center of the Universe. Instead, self-love is about having a positive relationship with yourself in which you take care of yourself, support yourself, and believe in yourself. A narcissist is someone who is overconfident borderline arrogant and who turns a blind eye to their weaknesses and imperfections while overblowing their positive qualities. Narcissists feed off of the adoration and praise of others and often demonstrate a fantastic lack of compassion for others.
“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most love is lost” – Khalil Gibran
All You Need Is Love – Photo from Freepik
Communication is vital for a relationship to work. Talk frequently. Talk openly. Talk about everything, even if it hurts. Be willing to have uncomfortable talks. Be willing to have the fights. If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it. Arguments are sometimes necessary, but make sure to choose what is worth fighting for and what is not. During an argument, always remember that it is not you against your spouse but you and your spouse against the issue that is causing the disagreement.
Try to come to the bottom of what is causing the argument. Often you have one person who thinks that something is completely “normal” and the other thinks it is completely “bonkers”; trying to figure out who is being reasonable and who is being irrational and insecure can be a tall order. In this case, patience is required. Be patient in trying to figure out what’s what. Don’t rush towards a definite resolution to the problem. Sometimes there is no right answer, but progress has been made just by the fact that the issue has been discussed openly and needs to be processed separately.
Communication is important but according to Mark Manson (author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”), the most important factor in a relationship is not communication, but respect. He came to this conclusion after receiving hundreds of personal testimonies from his readers and followers after he asked them to send him their best marriage advice ahead of his wedding that happened in 2016. From the responses he obtained, he noticed that the thing that people with marriages going on 20, 30, or even 40 years talked about most was respect.
According to Mark Manson, these people, through sheer quantity of experience, have learned that communication, no matter how open, transparent, and disciplined, will always break down at some point. Conflicts are ultimately unavoidable, and feelings will always be hurt. The only thing that can save you and your partner is an unshakeable respect for one another, the fact that you hold each other in high esteem, believe in one another – often more than you each believe in yourselves – and trust that your partner is doing his/her best with what they’ve got. Without that bedrock of respect underneath you, you will judge each other choices and encroach on each other independence.
Love is also a process. There are 4 stages of love.
Stage #1: Preparing for Love.
Stage # 2: Practicing for Love
Stage #3: Protecting Love
Stage #4: Perfecting Love
Those 4 Stages are described in a Guide that I wrote especially for you. Click here to have access to it.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
Self-awareness is key to everything you do in your life on a personal and professional level. Self-awareness is defined as “the ability to accurately assess one’s strengths and limitations, with a well-grounded sense of confidence, optimism, and a growth mindset.” Being self-aware means that you have to stop lying to yourself. Successful people are very self-aware. They know their worth, but they also know their weaknesses; they can take constructive criticism well because they always want to improve themselves, and they want to find better ways to do things. Their strengths help them feel confident in their ability to improve on their weaknesses.
Everything starts with awareness. You need to be aware of the way you treat your body, your thoughts, your emotions, the food you eat, the words you use, and the possibilities that are around you. Self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively through reflection and introspection. If you are self-aware, you know what your strengths and your weaknesses are. Knowing this gives you an undeniable advantage compared to someone who operates in a self-righteous or self-denial mode.
Being self-aware means that you can make changes, rectify, and optimize everything you do in life and be the best you can be. Self-aware people listen, observe, learn, and then act.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom”
Aristotle.
Self-awareness is key. Stop lying to yourself.
Awareness Is Key. Stop lying to yourself.
Being self-aware is not easy, most people struggle with it because self-evaluation is difficult. When you self-evaluate you can be either too kind or too harsh with your assessment. It is easy to fall into the self-righteous trap or the self-sabotage trap. Ideally, you want to be somewhere in the middle. It is important to engage in self-evaluation to determine whether your thoughts, feelings and actions are congruent with each other.
People who lack self-awareness are operating in a world where double standards and hypocrisy are the norm. Their lack of objectivity is hidden behind a facade of excuses and falsehood. People in higher office who put themselves forward to speak on behalf of their constituents should abide by a higher standard of honesty and integrity because serving their people honestly and honorably is what is required for the job. The sad truth today is that a lot of politicians demonstrate a fantastic lack of self-awareness. that affect their judgment and decision-making process. Their lack of accountability is embarrassing and shameful. But at the end of the day, the half-truths, lies, and falsehoods they project onto the world will come back to bite them.
You also have the situation where people are unaware of their own biases and will spend a lot of time and energy ignoring facts, evidence, and data preferring to stay in the same comfortable belief that they had for a long time because the truth is too uncomfortable to contemplate. Stop doing mental gymnastic to try to justify your own confirmation biais. Try not to be too rigid about your beliefs or your understanding of how the world operates.
Some people tend to overestimate all the good things that they do, not taking direct responsibility for anything that goes wrong, attributing it to external circumstances. But you also have those who have impossible standards. Therapists’ offices are filled with people who hold themselves to impossibly high standards, effectively giving themselves no chance of success when comparing themselves to their own standards.
There are several reasons why people lie to themselves
They suffer from self-delusion and live in a fantasy world of their own making, believing their own lies.
They want to make other people happy; they want to avoid conflicts; they want to be accepted and loved.
They want a way out of their problems, pretending everything is fine, whilst it is not.
They want an easy way out of the situation.
But remember that you can run with a lie, but you can’t hide from the truth, it will eventually catch up with you. Stop lying to yourself and start working on increasing your self-awareness; this will benefit you in many ways. Your decision-making process will be better. Your relationships will improve because you are more honest with yourself and others. You will become a stronger person mentally and emotionally by taking responsibility for all your successes and failures. You feel more in control of your life, and more confident.
A few tips to Increase your self-awareness and stop lying to yourself.
Self -awareness Is Key. Stop lying to Yourself. Photo by freepik via freepik.com
Stop taking constructive criticism as a personal attack and consider other people’s points of view. Not everyone is out there to get you. Constructive criticism usually comes from people who really care about you. You have the right to feel upset or even hurt but resist the urge to blank out completely some constructive criticism and useful recommendations. Pay attention to what other people say. Their perspective may just be the piece of the puzzle that was missing but that you couldn’t see. Take the time to consider all perspectives. You will be able to make better decisions if you can see things from an outside perspective instead of focusing only on your own way of doing things. Being receptive to constructive criticism allows you to be aware of your blind spots. Being aware of your blind spots will improve all aspects of your life.
Stop trying to convince everyone that you are right. Don’t be self-righteous. Resist the need for everyone else in your life to see things from your perspective. People have different opinions about all kinds of things and that’s OK. You and all the people around you can be right on some issues and wrong on others. Everyone does the best they can with what they have and that’s OK. But as soon as you know better, you should do better.
Pay attention to your emotions because they are a good indicator of how you really feel about something. If you have been feeling anxious, depressed, or even angry whenever you do something or meet a certain person, you should pause for a moment and think about why you are feeling this way. If you are doing something that doesn’t make you happy or if it does not feel right, then stop lying to yourself by admitting that maybe this may not be the right thing to do at this particular point in time. If you say “Yes” to somebody or something, mean “Yes”! If you say “No” to somebody or something, mean “No”! Sounds simple, but it is not. Start practicing saying what you really mean.
Realize when you’ve taken too much on. Sometimes we lie to ourselves by thinking that we can handle more responsibilities than we can. Be honest with yourself. It is not worth the stress and anxiety that will follow from taking on too much.
Quit doubting yourself. It is not a good idea to overestimate your capabilities, but it is also a bad idea to underestimate yourself. It can be easy to doubt yourself when you are trying something new or venturing out of your comfort zone but stop lying to yourself by believing that you are not capable of doing what it takes to get what you want in life.
If you change your mindset, you change your life. There is so much to say about this. I wrote a whole Guide about this very subject. Click here to have access to it:
And this my dear friend is your Quest. Self- awareness is key to everything and please stop lying to yourself, it is not good for you.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
I was on radio silence for a little while, but I am back! I am coming out of my chrysalis. I was busy working on different things, different projects. I was busy contemplating and observing the world and human nature. I spent time surrounded by friends and family on my beautiful Island in the Indian Ocean (Réunion) immersing myself in the turquoise ocean and getting lost in the depths of nature, trying to figure out human nature.
Every morning I woke up with the sun. I stepped outside on the veranda, and I looked at a world still asleep blanketed in tranquility. Early morning is my favorite time of the day, because it is beautiful and peaceful, and it is a time that belongs entirely to me. It is precious. Day after day, I watched the sunrise marking the dawn of a new day and with it I felt the excitement of new possibilities waiting to be discovered and acted upon. As soon as people start waking up the blissful silence that surrounded me and the tranquility that I felt a short while ago withdraw backstage to allow daily activities to take center stage. Now everybody is running around doing this and that, trying to get to some places to do some important business and deal with all the tasks that come their way.
Being part of this world can be very troubling. The world can be an onslaught. Every day we have to deal with the tyranny of culture, hypocrisy, lies, double-standard, censorship, gaslighting, rampant incompetence and corruption of leaders, topped up with an enormous amount of malevolence and hatred for one another. And if this was not enough, we (actually the most courageous ones) have to face our own naivety, ignorance, biases; trying to unlearn what we have learned and trying to pick up valuable life lessons along the way. I didn’t feel like writing about all of this but felt like going under the radar into “Chrysalis- Tropical- Mode” and so I did.
Now I feel like it is time to emerge from the Chrysalis and express myself again on this and that, become more adventurous traveling down the road less traveled by, and see where it will take us. I am now in “Nomad-Mode” currently living in the desert, and with this new environment comes the dawn of a new day.
Transformation and Growth
Coming out of my chrysalis – Photo from Freepik @freepik.com
The butterfly has one of the most fascinating life cycles of all creatures, we should emulate that transformation and growth process, from a caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly. The butterfly starts its life as an egg perched on a leaf. When the egg finally hatched, a caterpillar emerged from the egg. The whole raison d’être of the caterpillar is to eat as much as possible to reach its desired growth.
As soon as the caterpillar is done growing and has reached its full length and weight, it takes refuge in a cocoon, also known as the chrysalis, where it can safely rest and digest all the food that has been consumed in the previous stage and conduct its metamorphosis quietly and privately. Human beings tend to skip that stage or confuse it with a period of a downturn where nothing happens. Wrong! This stage is a necessary stage where you should observe the world and pay attention to the silence that surrounds you. In a world that is noisy and full of distraction, this is the stage where you learn how to be steady while everything spins around you. Stillness is the pathway that can inspire new ideas, sharpen perspective, and illuminate the mind.
“Listen to the wind it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows.”
Native American Proverb
In its final stage of development, the butterfly emerges from the cocoon ready to take its flight and show its beauty to the world.
And just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
Coming out of my chrysalis – Photo from Freepik @freepik.com
One of the things that came out of my period of reflection is that before you think about trying to change the world you have first to change yourself. You owe it to yourself and the people around you. Each one of us has a duty to take our place in the world as a decent person who lives passionately and with purpose. Whatever our purpose is, it should be something that fills our heart, something that makes a positive impact on people, our family, friends, community, and the world at large, even if it is just a smile you give to a stranger giving them a warm feeling; the feeling of being seen by someone instead of being invisible. But first, you have to master your fear of the unknown. You have to know who you are and what you want to be.
Whether people admit it or not, most of us have a desire to make a difference, to have an impact or some level of influence on others. It is part of human nature, and it is admirable because it implies that we have to live a life that is bigger than us and our immediate entourage. We want to leave something of value after we leave, we want to leave a legacy.
“The world needs able men and women, people who can do things that are thoroughly worthwhile; people who can think great thoughts and transform such thoughts into great deeds.”
Christian D. Larson
My time of reflection spent in the Chrysalis allowed me to think more about women. My conclusion: women are Queen. But they don’t know it. They should learn how to develop their Queen Mindset. Why is it important for women to awaken their Queen potential? Because most of the issues and challenges that women face these days are coming from a lack of clarity as to who they are and what they want. Studying and applying the science of Queenology will help them find answers to those questions. A Queen understands the complexity of human nature and of her own character. She can sound confident and have anxiety. She can look healthy and feel bad. She can look happy and feel miserable. She can look like she has it all together while being a mess deep down and that’s OK. A Queen understands that she is a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time.
Question: Is it wrong to want to have it all? Health, Wealth, Happiness with the freedom to be yourself? Answer: Absolutely not! You can have it all if you have the right mindset i.e. the mindset of a Queen! Wherever we are in the world, we all want the same thing. We all want to survive and thrive. We want to be happy, healthy & wealthy. Wealth is the freedom to make decisions that are best for you and for the people around you. There are different types of wealth not limited to financial wealth and yet equally important. Physical wealth is an abundance of good health and energy. Emotional wealth is having peace of mind and optimal quality of life. Financial wealth is money or assets which provide us with a certain amount of financial security.
Surely there must be a secret to get to this Eldorado?! Yes, there is. The secret lies in your ability to develop a Queen consciousness. Would you believe me if I tell you that all women have Queen potential inside of them? I can hear you say: “Sure, it would be nice to be Kate Middleton, to live in a castle with a handsome prince/future King, wear a crown and fabulous evening gowns and have a bunch of people do all kind of things for you; but the chances are I am never going to be a Queen !” WRONG! Every woman has the potential to become a Queen, but it requires self-awareness, time, effort and discipline to bring this Queen potential to the surface. What I am talking about here is a special type of Queen. A Queen is a woman who possesses the ultimate presence and excellence of character empowered by a no-nonsense approach to life, love and business.
I wrote a Guide on this very subject. I wrote it for all the women who just want to do better, for those who refuse to give-up despite feeling a bit lost, and for women who need some clarity and guidance to help them make the rest of their lives the best of their life without having to spend their precious time and money on endless therapy sessions or trying to figure it all out by yourself.
To learn more on this subject, I invite you to check out my free Guide.
Rules are a necessity. Without rules there is chaos. But when rules are becoming too rigid it can create another type of chaos also known as tyranny. Knowing when to follow the rules and when to break them (without turning yourself into a wanted criminal) is a tall order but I have decided to tackle this subject, nonetheless.
Our whole life and existence are based on rules that we have to follow. The country we live in has a set of rules that every citizen must follow. The school where our children go has various rules. As parents, we have a set of rules in our home. Friendship and love, too, come with a bunch of rules. Rules help in bringing order to society.
When I am talking about rules and breaking the rules, I am also talking about order and chaos and the necessity to balance conservative and creative attitudes. Rules are created to protect the status quo – not to spur innovation. People in power establish rules, and those people have a vested interest in staying in power, by creating more and more rules to the point of suffocation. Two years ago, people couldn’t leave their homes without permission from some authorities. Two years ago new rules prevented extended family members to gather around a table to have a meal together.
When to follow the rules and when the break them – An existential dilemma
When to follow the rule and when to break them. Photo by freepik via freepik.com
Limitations, constraints, boundaries, and rules ensure social harmony and psychological stability. According to Jordan Peterson, we should follow the rules except when doing so undermines the purpose of those rules. We should follow the rules until we are capable of being a shining example of what they represent but break them when those very rules hinder the spirit of why those rules were put in place in the first place. We should respect the rules except when following those rules means disregarding or ignoring or remaining blind to an even higher moral principle.
We should all try our best to understand the rules, their necessity, their sacredness, the chaos they keep at bay, how they unite the community that follows them, the price paid for their establishment, and the danger of breaking them. But we should also be willing to fully shoulder the responsibility of making an exception when this serves a higher good, an elevated moral act.
Learn rules like a pro, so that you can break them like an artist.
Picasso
There is an existential dilemma that eternally characterizes human life. It is necessary to conform, to be disciplined and to follow the rules, to do humbly what others do, but it is also necessary to use judgment, vision, and truth to tell what is right when the rules suggest otherwise.
The conservative and the creative attitudes have to be balanced, both have a role in society. The conservative type carefully implements processes that have been tried and tested over time in order to produce stability and value. The creative liberal type has the ability to pinpoint how what is old and out of date could be replaced by something new and more valuable.
The balance between conservatism and originality might therefore be properly struck by bringing the two types together. Conscious wisdom is to recognize that conservatism is good (with a set of associated dangers) and creative transformation is also good (with a set of associated dangers). It is critical to be able to recognize when the balance has swung too far in one direction.
Alongside the wisdom of true conservatism is the danger that the status quo might become too rigid and a bit outdated. Alongside the brilliance of creative endeavor is the false heroism of the resentful ideologue blinded by their ideology and set in their own righteousness.
Intelligent and cautious conservatism mixed with a creative liberal attitude keeps the world in order. A certain number of arbitrary rules must be tolerated to keep the world and its inhabitants together. A certain amount of creativity and rebellion must be tolerated to maintain the regeneration process. Every rule was once a creative act, breaking other rules.
So, when to follow the rules and when to break them?
We should follow the rules until we are capable of being a shining example of what they represent but break them when those very rules hinder the spirit of why those rules were put in place in the first place. We should respect the rules except when following those rules means disregarding or ignoring or remaining blind to an even higher moral principle.
Jordan Peterson
Crazy things you won’t believe used to be legal?!
Crazy things that used to be legal. Photo byfreepik via freepik.com
There are many examples throughout history of crazy things you won’t believe used to be legal. We tend to think of the law as an obvious truth, the reality is that society pretty much makes things up as we go along. A brutal statement you may say. But take a look back at history, travel back in time when your parents and grandparents and great-grandparents were kids, and all kinds of crazy things were legal from meth to owning people, to being able to legally cut half of someone’s brain out for being gay.
Smoking. Smoking everywhere used to be legal. People used to be able to smoke everywhere from conference rooms in office places to airplanes, movie theaters, and restaurants. If you smoked, you looked cool and for women, it was even considered a symbol of emancipation and equality with men.
Drugs. In the US, pretty much all types of drugs were legal at some point or another, from the soft ones to the hard-core type. This is because most drugs were either developed originally for medical reasons, accidentally discovered in experiments, or just plants growing out of the earth that people have ingested like food since the beginning of time. In fact, drugs as a terrifying boogeyman didn’t become a thing until 1875 when the first drug laws in the U.S. were passed. Cocaine was originally used in the late 1800s as a way to treat addiction to morphine. In 1884, Sigmund Freud (a chronic coke user) even penned a love letter to cocaine, called “Uber Coca,” in which he praised the drug for its “exhilaration and lasting euphoria.” When Coca-Cola debuted in 1886, it had two major ingredients: caffeine and cocaine. Why else do you think it is called “Coke?”
Slavery. Slavery has existed since the beginning of time and was perfectly legal around the world. Europeans enslaved other Europeans, Asians enslaved other Asians, Africans enslaved other Africans and Arabs enslaved other Arabs. The color of someone’s skin was not a key factor to determine whether that person could find himself in the unfortunate position of being a slave. Those who became slaves were chosen because of their vulnerability compared to other dominant groups and not because of the color of their skin. In 1793, the British Empire became the first nation to abolish slavery by passing the first legislation to outlaw the slave trade.
Lobotomies. Partial lobotomies used to be considered an appropriate way to deal with mental illness, and an encouraging procedure to handle schizophrenia, depression, suicidal tendencies, and other unwanted social problems – like homosexuality. (It was even sometimes used to treat backaches.). The procedure became very popular and in 1949, the originator of the procedure, Portuguese neurologist António Egas Moniz, shared a Nobel Prize for its discovery. The procedure could be enforced against the individual’s will. After a relatively short surgical lifespan (the Soviet Union was the first country to outlaw the procedure in 1950 stating that it was contrary to the principles of humanity) it was noticed that dulling the emotions produced more than a few negative side effects; namely turning the patient into a vegetable, a living creature with no sign of depression, but a creature unable to focus, unable to make decisions, and unable to operate properly.
Rules to break
Crazy things that used to be legal. Photo by Nadia Poliashenko via freepik.com
We are surrounded by ‘well-intended’ rules and gracious advice from teachers, parents, friends that somehow become ingrained in us. The trouble is many of those rules often aren’t true and yet they have a major influence on our lives. Those are the rules to break. Instead of blindly accepting the rules set down for us by other people, we should learn to question them, think for ourselves, and be more fluid in our judgment.
The ‘accepted’ rule is that the internet makes you anonymous. It is easy to sit all on your own in your bedroom with your computer, to think that no one can see you. You use your computer like a mask, except that your computer doesn’t conceal your real identity. You may feel a level of detachment from your social networking pages or your emails, but the people who read them are very conscious that these words or pictures come straight from you. So, you have to take responsibility for what you say and do online. If you wouldn’t say a thing to someone’s face, don’t say it to Facebook either. Be considerate of what pictures you post or the tone of the emails you send. If you wouldn’t do it or say it offline, then don’t do it or say it online. And if in doubt don’t. I say the internet doesn’t make you anonymous, but it can make you a hero or a prat.
Social media makes you all way too comfortable with disrespecting people and not getting punched in the face for it.
Mike Tyson
Another rule to break is to make a plan and stick to it. Throughout your life, you will have a raft of people from well-intended parents to teachers, spouses, siblings, etc… who will tell you that to succeed in life you need to make a plan and stick to it. Everything we do requires us to make a plan of sorts. Making plans is part of what we do every day, we plan our days at work, our weekends, and our food shopping; we have a plan for our short, medium, and long-term goals, and that is how it should be. It is particularly important to plan ahead for the future. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark, and you dig the well before you are thirsty.
‘Make a plan and stick to it’ sounds like very good advice. It encourages discipline and perseverance. The ‘sticking to the plan part’ is what demonstrates one’s ability to persevere despite difficulties and setbacks. There are plenty of great stories of people who kept going despite the rejections. J.K. Rowling’s original synopsis of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was rejected by 12 different publishing houses before Bloomsbury accepted it. In 2004 Forbes magazine named J.K Rowling the first person to become a billionaire by writing books. No doubt that her persistence to continue writing her novel whilst she was a single mother living on welfare paid off.
Those stories of achieving great success through sheer grit and perseverance are inspiring; we rarely hear stories that say, when the going gets tough, just give up, but these stories exist, they are just not as celebrated. Consider Isaac Newton who is famous for discovering the Law of Gravity; you may not be aware but before he achieved celebrity status, he wasted many years of his life in his quest to become a successful alchemist. Newton was obsessed with alchemy and spent years trying to decipher strange numerological codes hidden in the bible that he thought could give him the recipe for turning lead into gold. Eventually, he came to realize that his pursuit of alchemy was futile and decided to redirect his energy to more scientific pursuits, which eventually led him to discover the Law of Gravity.
Life is unpredictable. Adapt. Pivot and rectify the plan if necessary.
Joanne Reed
To follow or not to follow the rules? May the choice you make be the right choice. And this my dear friend is your Quest.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
This is a story that you want to read. Stories teach us about life, about ourselves, and about others. There are two ways to learn valuable life lessons that will teach us to become a little bit smarter and wiser. The first method is through trial, error, and personal experience and the second method is through storytelling. The downside of the first method is that it will no doubt bring you a fair amount of pain and suffering, which is something that we all want to avoid as much as possible. Learning life lessons through someone else’s struggle and ordeal is a much less painful way to go about it whilst still bringing the same benefits.
In stories, we capture and observe the actions of the ideal personality or otherwise referred to in this article as the High-Value Individual. The stories we create, watch, listen to and emulate are those that showcase actions and attitudes we find interesting and compelling.
High-Value Individuals know themselves, but it is not enough.
How to Become a High-Value Individual. Photo from Freeppik via Freepik.com
According to Aristotle, knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. But it is not enough, the important question that we should also ask ourselves is who could we be? Everyone has the sense that there is more to them than they have yet allowed to be realized.
Achieving our full potential could be hindered by poor health, misfortune, and the tragedies of life; but it can also be hindered by an unwillingness to take full advantage of the opportunities that life offers, abetted by all sorts of errors such as lack of discipline, faith, imagination, and commitment.
But if you want to be the hero of your own movie then read on because this article and eBook will give you some tools to become a High-Value Individual. From the beginning of time, knowledge was shared from generation to generation thanks to storytellers who used their artistry to pass on information, knowledge, and wisdom to their community.
Well-chosen words breathe hope into us when our spirits are broken, revive us when our bodies are weary, lift our spirits up when we lose ourselves in an ocean of despair, redeem the wrong we feel, and make us stronger than we know.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to become a High-Value Individual.
High-Value Individuals are compelling
How to Become a High-Value Individual. Photo from Freeppik via Freepik.com
High-Value Individuals learn how to walk before they can run. Being compelling is your training ground to become a High-Valued Individual. It is not a walk in the park. It requires a lot of work, discipline, and the ability to learn from your mistakes; you will need to demonstrate patience and perseverance.
Whether we are realizing it or not we are always influencing people, whether it is to get our toddler to eat their carrots and broccolis or convince our colleagues, our boss, or our business partner to adopt alternatives way of doing things, or to help our friend and family to adopt healthy living habits, being compelling is how we make things happen in this world.
We are always influencing people. The moment we step into a room we create an impression of ourselves by the way we are dressed, the expression we have, and the energy we exalt. But is this impression the one we mean to be creating? Could we be forging better connections and a stronger influence if we knew how to be more intentional about the impressions we are generating?
People thrive for connection. We all want to hang out and do business with people with positive vibes. Do not underestimate the power of exchanging something as simple as a smile with a total stranger or holding the door for someone who is behind you.
Being compelling is all about learning the art of striking a perfect balance of strength and warmth and finding your authentic self in the process. We don’t need to portray something we’re not, but we do need to play up to our positives and pay attention to the signals we’re sending others.
You play up to your strengths when you can display your skills and convey your capability in a straight and effective manner with confidence and no arrogance.
You convey warmth when you can create a sense of connection, understanding, compassion, and genuine care for the other person. You put these two ingredients together and you end up with a powerful elixir that can generate respect and affinity.
How much strength and affinity can you display? It will depend on your communication style.
There is so much to say about this subject of being a High-Value individual that I felt I couldn’t do justice to it in a short blog article, so I decided to turn the whole exercise into a 35 pages eBook – How to Become a High-Value Individual.
How to Become a High-Value Individual – Photo from Freeppik via Freepik.com. The eBook is available on Amazon.com.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
Many people consider the poem “If” written in 1895 by the British writer Rudyard Kipling to be one of the most inspirational poems ever written. The poem provides advice on how one should live one’s life with restraint, moderation, and composure. Kipling’s poem is addressed to his son to help him understand what it takes to be successful in life and how to handle defeat when it occurs, but the advice can be assimilated by anyone who is reading the poem.
Poetry is an art that lies in the soul and spirit of man since the beginning of times. The writing of great poetry has been a beautiful vehicle for expressing one’s thoughts, observations, historical events, and various philosophies about life. A great poem, unlike a novel or a short story, can be easily digested and absorbed and can become part of us. We can always rely on our favorite poem to lift our spirits up when we are not feeling our best.
Poetry is an art hidden in complex imagery and philosophy. It awakens our senses and gives us pleasure. Its language is charged, intense, and sophisticated and will stay with us long after you’ve read them. Reading poems is a kind of magical experience because they can mean anything, they are for interpretation rather than argument. Understanding their true meaning allows us to connect, relate, and find meaning in our own experiences.
While Kipling wrote poetry, novels, and articles, he is most notably known for his collection of short stories called the Jungle Book. Kipling won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1907.
“If” by Rudyard Kipling
If… poem by Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating. And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master. If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue. Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it. And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling
”If” themes
If … poem by Ruddyard Kippling
1. Composure and self-restraint.
Kipling advises his son (and with him anybody who is ready his poem) to move through life with composure and to exercise self-control, integrity, and humility.“If you can keep your head when all around you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.”
Kipling advocates that we should not let triumph nor disaster go to one’s heads. Composure and self-restraint makes it possible to act with dignity in all circumstances and to lead a respectable life. He encourages people to calmy devote themselves to rebuilding their life if it ever goes to shambles, and remain reasonable and diligent even when times are tough.
Kipling also insists that people shouldn’t become too smug about their own measured and virtuous way of navigating life. “Don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.” The idea is to steer away from vanity (in the sense of merely wanting to look like a good guy) in favor of simple level-headedness. People need to find a happy medium between confidence and modesty. Those who succumb to neither vice nor vanity are those who are capable of persevering through hardship “their Will always telling them to Hold on! ”The idea is that composure leads to strength and integrity.
2. Confidence.
Learn to be confident without being vain. Be confident in yourself and develop your ability to understand others even if that means understanding that people will not always like or agree with you. “If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too.”
3. Patience
Have patience. Don’t lie. Don’t hate. Dream but stay grounded. “If you can wait and not be tired of waiting. Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies. Or being hated, don’t give way to hating.”
Success is never final. Failure is never fatal it is the courage to continue that count. Kipling calls ‘triumph’ and ‘disaster’ imposters because both of these events don’t last long. The small triumphs in life should be celebrated and they taste sweet but staying in the hallucination of victory is an addiction and enslavement. Victory and defeat don’t last. This too shall pass. Accept hardship without dwelling on them. “If you can dream – and not make dreams your master. If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim. If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same.”
4. Awareness
Be aware of dishonest and harmful people. They will twist your words to serve their own agendas. But deal with them with dignity. “If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools. Or watch the things you gave your life broken. And stood and build them with worn-out tools.”
5. Courage
If you fail, pick yourself up and start again, and don’t dwell on your loss. When the going gets tough get tougher. Be resilient. Endure the hard time even if that feels both physically and emotionally impossible. “If you can make one heal of all your winnings. And risk it on one turn of pitch and toss. And lose and start again at your beginnings. And never breathe a word about your loss. If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone. And so hold on when there is nothing in you. Except for the Will which says to them “Hold On.!”
6. Be authentic, be yourself.
Treat everyone the same the lowest of the low and the highest in society. Display Tender, Love and care but exert detachment when required. “If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue. Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch. If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you. If all men count with you, but none too much.”;
7. Know the value of time.
Time is of the essence don’t waste it. The phrase ‘unforgiven minute’ is a metaphor for life. Time is always unforgiving. You can never get back time that has been wasted away. “ If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.”
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
Today I am taking you on an adventure to Fairyland to be sprinkled with fairy wisdom. Once there was a competition to know who was the smartest fairy in Fairyland. The Water Fairy, the Green Fairy, and the Frost Fairy were going to compete. The three competing fairies had to answer 3 questions.
The first question was: What do you give to others but still try to keep?
The second question was: What does everyone need, want, and ask, but never take?
The third question was: What can you never get rid of when you lose it?
The Water Fairy had all the answers and enlighten us with her fairy wisdom.
Fairy Wisdom 1: What do you give to others but still try to keep?
Fairy Wisdom – Photo from Freepik via Freepik.com
We give promises to others and try to keep them. Making promises is easy. Honoring them is another story. We make promises for lots of reasons, and our intentions are usually good. We want to help someone in need. We want to make people happy. But sadly, our actions don’t always measure up to the promises we make. Why is this?
There could be a few reasons. It is possible that we don’t realize that we’ve made or implied a promise. We forgot what we’ve said. We get sidetracked by other events. We lose enthusiasm when we realize that keeping our word is harder than we expected. We haven’t allowed enough time, or we have a scheduling conflict. We lack the power to do what we’ve said we’d do.
You may get away with letting someone down once or twice, but if you keep going back on your promises, the consequences could be deep and enduring, whether on a professional or personal level. It is better not to over-commit yourself to do something if you know that you are not going to have the time or the capacity to do it. Do not make a promise if you know that you can’t keep it. But if you do make a promise to someone, do everything you can to keep your word. Your reputation and trustworthiness depend on it.
And please, don’t forget to treat promises to yourself as seriously as promises to others. Make sure that you keep the promise you made to yourself to take care of your physical and mental health on a daily basis, to manage your personal finances with care and attention, to spend time with family and friends, to spend time reflecting on what is most important to you in life and to live and work according to your deepest values. When you make and keep promises to yourself, you become a better, more fully realized version of yourself, which benefits not only you but everyone around you.
Fairy Wisdom 2: What does everyone need, want, and ask, but never take?
Fairy Wisdom – Photo from Freepik via Freepik.com
Advice is what everyone needs, wants, and asks for but is never willing to take. Receiving advice and guidance is often seen as the passive consumption of wisdom. When the exchange is done well, people on both sides of the table benefit. Those who are truly open to advice and guidance develop better solutions to problems than they would have on their own. They add nuance and texture to their thinking. Those who give advice effectively yield soft influence – they help shape important decisions while empowering others to act.
The whole interaction is a subtle and intricate art. What is required on both sides is emotional intelligence, self-awareness, restraint, diplomacy, and patience. Ignore as much as possible the temptation to overstep by giving unsolicited advice. Giving unsolicited advice is usually considered intrusive and is seldom followed anyway. Best not to venture over that boundary.
For people who seek advice, act on the advice you’ve received if it resonates with you, and don’t forget to make real-time adjustments. Advice is best treated as provisional and contingent, not a fixed path forward. Things change all the time. What is true today may not be true tomorrow. Stay alert and present. For the giver of advice, walk your talk, and make a note to follow your own advice once in a while.
Fairy Wisdom 3: What can you never get rid of when you lose it?
Fairy Wisdom – Photo from Freepik via Freepik.com
The one thing you can never get rid of even if you lose it is one’s temper. We all know what anger is because we have all felt it. The academic definition of anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by psychological and biological changes; when you are angry, your heart rate, blood pressure, your adrenaline and cortisol levels go up.
Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats. It inspires powerful, often aggressive feelings and behaviors, which allows us to fight to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is not a bad thing and is necessary for our survival. But anger can become problematic when it is frequent and out of control.
We all have different triggers to make us lose it; but some people are more ‘hotheaded’ than others. They get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don’t show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don’t always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, become passive-aggressive, and sulk. People who are easily angered have a low tolerance for frustration, they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. Things should go their way always. Angry people tend to think that they are morally right and that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity.
My (unsolicited) advice to the angry/grumpy person, would be to take some deep breaths, take some time out, and go read a book about anger management; if you don’t have time to read a book you could read or re-read this article and get sprinkled with some fairy wisdom.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
[This is going to be a long story but if you read only one blog article this year, I suggest you read this one. Some deep secrets are going to be revealed… Make yourself comfortable because secrets such as this one cannot be revealed in a few paragraphs. I am going to take you on an epic journey. Off we go]
The world we are living in is chaotic and uncertain. Nothing is easy, we have to fight our way through everything. Everybody has problems, issues, and dramas to deal with and if you add to this some unexpected world events and some natural disasters then life becomes quite tricky. Wherever we are in the world, we all want the same thing. We all want to survive and thrive. We want to be happy, healthy, and wealthy. Surely, there must be a secret to stepping out of this chaotic world and getting to this Eldorado. Good news: there is a secret. It’s VUCA! You can watch the full documentary by joining UNIFYD TV where you will have access to a treasure trove of mindblowing information.
The US Army War College saw signs in 1987 that the world was becoming more volatile, more complex, more interconnected, more uncertain, and dangerously ambiguous. They put their best minds to work and came up with a military strategy known as V.U.C.A: Volatility. Uncertainty. Complexity. Ambiguity. From its very outset, the VUCA concept was put together to give US soldiers the ability to survive and thrive in times of crisis.
How to win everyday battles – Photo by Warmtall via freepik.com
This military strategy (which is unknown to most) is the secret to survive and thrive in this chaotic world. For those of you who wish to follow me on this Quest to find this Eldorado, read on; I am going to take you on an epic journey. I have in my possession the “secret” roadmap that will take us out of this chaotic world and straight to the hero’s journey. How did I come to possess such valuable information; you may ask? All was revealed to me in a documentary I watched recently called It’s VUCA – The Secret to Surviving in the 21st Century by Michael Schindler.
This article is based on this documentary and on some of the previous blog articles I wrote in the past which complement the VUCA concept quite well.
Life is a battlefield. Nothing is easy, we have to fight our way through everything; with this in mind, it would be a good idea for us to familiarize ourselves with combat strategy and learn the best tricks in the book from trained warriors.
The secret to survive and thrive in this chaotic world is to first recognize that we live in a chaotic world
We are living in interesting times. Learn to navigate between order and chaos
There is no doubt that we are living in a VUCA world where things are Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous. The Covid Era will be remembered as the age of despair, fractured communities where we were forced to alienate ourselves from our families, friends, colleagues, and clients. People were living in a state of fear, stress, sadness,and uncertainty and were bombarded by information, new regulations, and emergency decrees that were complex and ambiguous. There seems to be more pain than we could heal, more dissent than we could mediate, and more uncertainty than we could comprehend.
The Covid Era taught us all that we are living in interesting times and learning how to navigate between order and chaos is critical. Everyone experiences the world through chaos, order, and something in between called consciousness.
Order is explored territory. It is the authority, the structured society. Order is tribe, religion, home, and country. Order is where the world’s behavior matches our expectations and desires, the place where all things turn out the way we want them to.
Chaos is unexplored territory. Chaos is the place you find yourself when things fall apart, when your dream dies, your career collapses, or your marriage ends. Chaos is when we don’t know where we are. When we don’t know what we are doing, and we don’t know where we are going.
Volatility turns our world upside down. We live in a volatile world where we have to face changes that are unpredictable and frequent with devastating impacts on our lives, jobs, businesses, and relationship. When uncertainty reigns, no one can predict with confidence what’s going to happen next. People feel hopeless. How we can find hope amid uncertainty and conflict? In a VUCA world, the volume of information to process is complex, overwhelming, and staggering. It is like being asked to play chess every day whilst the rules of the game keep changing all the time. Ambiguity is the name of the game. What is causing the chaos is unclear and confusing. There is no roadmap to follow, no landmarks, and no signposts.
How to win everyday battles – Photo by Warmtall via freepik.com
Life is a battlefield, it is in the nature of most living organisms to engage in battles, have defense mechanisms, defeat their opponents, assert power and dominate. With humans, we see this happening in wars, in business, on a soccer field, in video games, and the chances are even when we are not waging war against our environment, we are waging war against ourselves. So how do you win everyday battles?
“If you know the enemy and you know yourself you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. But if you know neither the enemy nor yourself you will succumb in every battle.”
Sun Tzu
Sun Tzu claimed that the highest victory is defeating the enemy without fighting. Unfortunately, this ideal proposition is not always an option, sometimes you have no other option but to fight. That is why in life we ought to pick our battles carefully, we have to decide which battles are worth fighting and which are a waste of energy and resources. When push comes to shove and you have no choice but to fight, get into the arena and fight like your life depends on it, because it does. And please don’t wait for the cavalry to come and save you. The calvary ain’t coming, you are the calvary.
In life, you need to have the courage to fight those battles. Courage is not an absence of fear, courage is the mental preparedness and ability to deal with difficult challenges, and sometimes seemingly impossible circumstances. It is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, intimidation, and other threats.
The Secret to survive and thrive in this crazy world. Photo by Vectorup Studio via freepik.com
And this is where the big secret is revealed…
The secret is that you fight VUCA with VUCA. What you have to do is flip the script by turning the negative VUCA into a positive VUCA. Volatility can be countered by Vision. Uncertainty can be countered by Understanding. Complexity can be countered by Clarity. Ambiguity can be countered by Agility.
When you go into battle you need ammunition.
The most dangerous person – Photo by user 14901510 via freepik.com
Ammunition number 1: Vision
In order to have vision, you first need to observe. Looking at something produces nothing. Observing on the other hand produces insights. According to the Oxford dictionary, “Observation is the action or process of observing something or someone in order to gain information.” Our observation skills inform us about objects, events attitudes, and phenomena using one or more senses. Improving our observation skills allows us to “listen” with more than our ears and make better decisions.
When we observe we can take a step back to peer into ourselves and others. Observing ourselves is crucial but observing others is essential as it provides another angle. When you combine the two the observation of ourselves and others you get valuable insights that you can use to better connect and communicate with people. Developing your observation skills will help you develop a better vision.
Get into the habit of observing the world as it is, in all its variety learning from it, and putting what you learned into use in your decision-making process, in improving your intuition, in building your relationships, and in developing your foresight and vision.
Ammunition number 2: Understanding
In order to understand the people and the world around you, you have to develop your ability to listen and to think for yourself.
“When you talk you are only repeating something that you already know. But if you listen you may learn something new.”
Dalai Lama.
Before you assume learn the fact. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think. Before you talk, Listen. Listening is key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood. As a result, communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
Effective communication also starts with the understanding that people are not mind readers. Expecting people to guess your wishes and aspirations is only to bring frustration and resentment. If you want something from someone express yourself clearly. If you use the right word, the right tone of voice, and the right body language, you are increasing your chance of having your wishes and aspirations become a reality. Listening means paying attention not only to the story but how it is told. The use of language, the tone of voice, and how the person uses his or her body are important. Pay attention. It means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages.
We all think of ourselves as rational creatures, but in reality, humans are deeply irrational and are often governed by emotion rather than logic. Moreover, we have a tendency to operate within our own echo chamber, where the only information that goes through our brain is information that validates our prior knowledge vindicates our prior decisions, or sustains our existing beliefs.
Critical thinking. Phot by freepik cia freepik.com
Critical thinking means many things but at heart, it means a search for the truth. Critical thinking helps us determine what is real and what is not. But before we are able to exercise our cognitive ability to think we need to have a certain base of knowledge as a starting point. We can only think critically about things that we have knowledge of.
We should get into the habit from time to time of walking down the road less traveled the one taken by critical thinkers. If you decide to walk down that road it will require that you possess a certain fluidity of mind, some discipline, and be driven by the will to get to the truth of the matter rather than the urge to be righteous no matter what.
We live in a world of double standards, flagrant contradictions, and intolerance. It seems that people these days are incapable of having discussions with someone with who they strongly disagree, and have a civilized exchange based on reason rather than rage. It is a very sorry state of affairs. Preaching intolerance in the name of tolerance is a frightening contradiction that doesn’t seem to faze some people. But that is the VUCA world where are living in.
As a VUCA warrior, you will be a dangerous person if you know how to observe, listen, think (for yourself) and act accordingly.
Ammunition number 3: Clarity
There are 2 types of people in this world. Those who see clearly and those who don’t. People who see clearly are confident in themselves and in their abilities. Confident people know who they are, what they want, and how they should go about it. They have a road map; they have a destination in mind and have planned the journey ahead. They have determination, discipline, and a sense of purpose and they go through their life journey in a state of joy, happiness, and grace.
People who don’t see clearly are lost, they drift, they are discouraged, they keep changing their mind and instead of going forward towards the light (there is always light at the end of the tunnel) they turn around in circles, wandering endlessly and compulsively but not really going anywhere and their life journey ends up being a journey full of pain and suffering.
The lack of clarity triggers different types of reactions in people. Some people will opt for burying their heads in the sand and continue to operate on autopilot. Others will sink into despair or run around in a state of panic not knowing what to do, holding on to their anger, resentment, and suffering.
Suffering is part of life everybody has problems, issues, and dramas to deal with. Jordan Peterson advocates that we should bear our own cross, our own suffering, transcend it and then try to reduce it by becoming some kind of hero to ourselves and to people around us. So how do we become heroes? Not by wearing a cape, jumping from building to building trying to save the world. We become heroes by becoming a better person every day, shining our own light into the world. [Hold that thought, more on this later.]
“Your mind is like this water my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.”
Master Oogway
All of us without hesitation would prefer if given the choice, to be in the skin of one of those people who can see clearly. However, life is never black or white life is a lot more complex than that and you can bet that all of us will have periods where we experience moments of clarity, where everything is in harmony where we feel that we are on top of the world and we know where we are going, but we will also experience moments when we lack clarity, when we are filled with doubts and feel discouraged and drift not knowing where we are going.
If Clarity was a commodity that could be purchased the chance is that commodity would become the most precious item one could own. The problem is you cannot obtain Clarity from someone else you cannot buy Clarity and you cannot unfortunately receive it as a gift from someone else. You will have to find it yourself. Clarity will make your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions congruent with each other.
Buddhists believe that: “The world is like muddy water. To see through it, we have to let things settle. We can’t be disturbed by initial appearance. And if we are patient and still the truth will be revealed to us.”
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Ammunition Number 4: Agility
Life is a battlefield. Photo by freepik via freepik.com
As VUCA Warriors we should be agile, we should learn the art of mobility. In the military world, the ability to maneuver cross-country and in the most restrictive terrain is essential. In life, if you are stuck in your own self-righteous and rigid way of doing things then you will lack the mobility to advance. Stiffness of thoughts originates from an inability to think critically preferring instead to submit yourself to groupthink and an ideology without questioning it.
The world is not black and white there are several shades of grey in between. Things change all the time. What is true today may not be true tomorrow. You don’t need a group, a leader, or some media platforms to tell you how to think and how to act. Don’t let people put you into a box and stick a label on it because that makes you predictable, vulnerable, and controllable. Be your own person be curious about what’s going on, ask questions, and think for yourself.
And please, stop asking for permission when you don’t have to. From the day we are born, we spend our lives asking for permission for everything. It starts with our parents, our teachers, our boss, our spouse, or our leader, and it goes on and on. Being compliant, obedient, and asking for permission might serve us well in a civilized society as we learn how to control our wants and desires; but the irony and eventual quiet tragedy of that is that in some instances, our wants and desires might not have a possessor, a licensor or a permit giver. It may lay outside the realms of ownership. There may be broad indifference to whether we act in some way or not. There may be no law or no one to be upset by our move. The desired thing in question might just belong to whoever dares to step forward and take it. There is no formal procedure, it’s just the courage to imagine that it could be yours. I say, stop asking for permission, if you don’t have to. Learn to be more autonomous and agile.
If you have the Vision, the Understanding, the Clarity of mind, and the Agility; congratulations, you have passed the test to be a VUCA warrior.
The secret to survive and thrive in this chaotic world is to recognize the necessity to act on our VUCA warrior attitude and combat obstacles on our journey
This is where storytelling comes into play. The VUCA world is laced with dilemmas, and problems you can’t solve, problems that won’t go away. Storytelling is critical in the VUCA world because stories take us into the unknown, they teach us about facing conflicts and overcoming fear and obstacles. We are all looking for clear answers to our questions, clear paths to follow, and clear solutions to our problems.
There are two ways to learn valuable life lessons that will teach us to become a little bit smarter and wiser. The first method is through trial, error and personal experience and the second method is through storytelling. The downside of the first method is that it will no doubt bring you a fair amount of pain and suffering, which is something that we all want to avoid as much as possible. Learning life lessons through someone else’s struggle and ordeal is a much less painful way to go about it whilst still bringing the same benefits. And this is why storytelling is so important. Stories teach us about life, about ourselves and about others.
The importance of storytelling
Do not underestimate the writers’ role in society. Photo by user 31947721 via freepik.com
We should not underestimate the writer’s role in society. From the beginning of time, knowledge was shared from generation to generation thanks to storytellers who used their artistry to pass on information, knowledge, and wisdom to their community.
Well-chosen words breathe hope into us when our spirits are broken, revive us when our bodies are weary, lift our spirits up when we lose ourselves in an ocean of despair, redeem the wrong we feel, and make us stronger than we know.
Do not underestimate the writer’s role in society, because writers bring to the world something that no one else can… they shape the world. Writers have the power through their words to educate, heal and illuminate the mind.
“A poet’s work is to name the unnamable, to point to fraud, to start arguments, to shape the world, and to stop it going to sleep. Writing is as close as we get to keeping a hold on the thousand and one things that go on in the world of uncertainty, doubts, dreams, love, deception … that go on, slipping like sand through our fingers. To understand just one life, you just have to swallow the world. Literature is where I go to explore the highest and lowest place in human society and in the human spirit, where I go to find not absolute truth, but the truth of the tale, of the imagination of the heart.”
Salman Rushdie.
Storytelling gives us that clarity and can give us the courage to act, and the motivation to be resilient. For sure we can turn to real and/or fictional heroes for inspiration and motivation but ultimately you have to embark on your own hero’s journey and become the hero of your own story. Remember. The cavalry ain’t coming, you are the cavalry.
The hero’s journey
Are there any heroes left? Photo by Creative art via freepik.com
Heroes are admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or their noble qualities. Heroes may be exhausted, but they persevere. They may be fearful, but they face danger courageously; still, they do not quail in the face of countless obstacles and danger. Heroes are undeterred by profoundly insurmountable difficulties and most of all they don’t allow themselves to be intimidated by destructive forces that cross their paths.
History is full of admirable heroes who fought against tyranny but in the modern era Are there any heroes left? If you live in a tyranny, would you know it? And if you did, are there any heroes left to fight against it? It is not a good idea to expect a noble knight to come on his white horse to save you. Save yourself. I believe that there is a new breed of heroes that are emerging. They are difficult to spot because they don’t wear a cape and a mask, they don’t jump from building to building, they don’t ride on a white horse; they are hiding in plain sight, they are amongst us hidden by their familiarity, they are hiding in you and me. Today’s heroes are you and me and anybody who has the courage to stand up when demoralized people are kneeling in submission.
Remember that a hero’s journey begins at the end of our comfort zone. A comfort zone is an artificial mental boundary within which we maintain a sense of security and out of which we experience great discomfort. Each one of us has our own boundaries that delineate our comfort zone, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all-comfort-zone model, but what you must know is that all the comfort zone is concerned about is keeping you inside of it.
Definitely outside my comfort zone – Photo by Hu Chen on Unsplash
A lot of people will have a natural inclination for staying inside their comfort zone even if they are unhappy and unfulfilled, first and foremost because it is familiar and safe, but most of all because they are afraid of the unknown, the risk of failure, and/or being hurt. They would rather stay wrapped up in their little cocoon, preferring to stay warm and cozy.
The only problem with this is that even if you have a strong desire to stay warm and cozy forever and have no inclination to do more than is absolutely necessary, sometimes life doesn’t give you that choice. The Covid Era is a great testimony of this. Ultimately, the hero within you will have to leave their cozy comfort zone and head into the scary unknown. At this point, courage and resilience are required to face doubts, interferences, and weaknesses; but what the hero will gain in the process are courage, a new perspective, and some wisdom.
In life, you need to have courage in order to fight those battles. Courage is the mental preparedness and ability to deal with difficult challenges and sometimes seemingly impossible circumstances. It is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, intimidation, and other threats.
Courage is not a quality that you are born with. It is one that has to be cultivated and honed. Today, we typically associate courage with heroic deeds but being courageous does not necessarily entail doing something dramatic or astoundingly heroic, everyday living requires courage. When we work to develop courage, we both empower ourselves with the ability to confront problems head-on, as well as acquire the skills required to deal with life’s inevitable challenges.
VUCA demands more from you. It demands more energy, more focus, more strength,and more resilience. Look at every day as being a VUCA warrior in training getting ready to get into the arena and fight as and when necessary.
Be Antifragile
The secret to survive and thrive in this chaotic world is to become antifragile. Human beings are fragile animals, but we are also resilient, rational beings with foresight, discernment, and the ability to survive and even thrive. Nobody knows what is going to happen next so we should get comfortable being uncomfortable while uncertainty reigns.
“Uncertainty is the very conditions that impels man to unfold his powers. As we navigate our own uncertain times together, may a thousand flowers of sanity bloom, each valid so long as it is viable in anchoring the human spirit it animates. And may we remember the myriad terrors and uncertainties preceding our own which have served as unexpected awakenings from some of our most perilous civilization slumbers.”
Erich Fromm
Girl Power. Kaboom!
We live every day with the knowledge of our staggering fragility, and we know how physiologically vulnerable our body and mind can be. We are aware that terrible outcomes are always possible and often probable. Your Quest as a human being is to protect yourself against the danger of losing your life but also against the danger of losing your mind. When the going gets tough, be tougher.
This knowledge of our own vulnerability makes us go back and forth between ecstatic optimism and sheer despair. In order to cope with that awareness and to counterweigh the heavy sense of our own fragility we often rely on the hope that somehow, we will be strong enough to withstand rare and unexpected events which the author Nassim Taleb refers to asBlack Swans Events.
In his book, The Black Swan (2007) Taleb focuses on the extreme impact of rare and unpredictable events which are events impossible to predict due to their extreme rarity. As Black Swan Events may result in catastrophic consequences it is important for people always to assume, however, unlikely that they are possible and plan accordingly. In his book, Taleb urges his readers to not attempt to predict Black Swans Events but to build robustness to their negative impacts. The world is too complex for anyone to understand or predict exactly what is going to happen, and rather than naively try to predict Black Sawn Events we just need to be aware of the possibility and adjust to their existence by becoming antifragile.
Author Joanne reed, this is your quest, living in uncertain times, Nassim Taleb
In his book, Antifragile (2012) Taleb explains that all systems can be categorized as fragile, robust, or antifragile. Fragile things are exposed and destroyed by volatility. Robust things resist. Antifragile things benefit from it.
“Some things benefit from shock they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder stressors and uncertainty. Antifragility is beyond resilience and robustness. The resilient resists shock and stay the same. The antifragile gets better. The fragile wants tranquility. The antifragile grows from disorder.”
Nassim Taleb
Nassim Taleb urges people to stop using the observable past as an indicator of the future – Don’t be a Turkey! Turkey is fed for 1000 days and thinks that everything is all right and food will be coming. On day 1001 the day before Thanksgiving everything changes.
“Uncertainty is our discipline and understanding how to act under conditions of incomplete information is the highest and most urgent human pursuit.”
Karl Popper.
Below are 4 tips to become tougher and antifragile:
Become antifragile and tougher by removal. The solution to many problems in life is solved by removal, and not by addition. Living a healthy life is more about removing sugar, processed food, and unhealthy snacks from your diet. Similarly, people become wealthy by reducing their exposure to going bust. Professional athletes win games by removing mistakes.
Become tougher and antifragile by being healthy. Treat your body as a temple worship it every day. Being unhealthy makes our immune system weak, which makes us more prone to disease, which in turn makes us fragile. Hippocrates is known for saying: “let your food be your medicine and your medicine be your food.” According to this doctrine, the body contains within itself the power to rebalance and heal itself.
Become tougher and antifragile by optionality. The more options you have the more freedom you have to respond to unforeseen circumstances, thus reducing your fragility to Black Swan Events. If you have optionality you don’t need to be right that often. All you need is the wisdom not to do things that will hurt your and to be able to recognize favorable outcomes when they arise.
Become tougher and antifragile through trial and error. Try new things and find out through a process of trial and error what works and what doesn’t. If an idea doesn’t work, make it fail quickly then move on to the next one. Play safe in some areas of your life and take some risks in others.
And this my dear friend is your Quest – Become a VUCA warrior!
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
We all have in mind a romanticized idea of what explorers look like i.e., a Marco Polo, a Christopher Colombus or a Ferdinand Magellan surely fit that explorer stereotype. We should also include Hollywood characters such as Indiana Jones and Lara Croft in that list. Those explorers and adventurers are truly exceptional individuals with a very special set of skills and a level of courage and determination that set them apart from the rest of us. For sure those explorers have been real trailblazers and we should give them the respect and recognition that they deserve, but from my perspective, we are all explorers.
We are all explorers. Photo featuring Joanne Reed in the desert of Saudi Arabia.
We are all Explorers. You don’t have to be a thrill junkie to be an explorer
We don’t have to be navigators, scientists, archaeologists, or adrenaline junkies to be an explorer. You can call yourself an explorer as soon as you decide to start a journey of discovery that will unveil some hidden knowledge, myths, truths, and lies about the world as we know it. What you need is a little bit of courage.
Courage is the most important of all virtues, because without courage you cannot practice any of the other virtues consistently.
Maya Angelou
You don’t have to be a thrill junkie to be brave. Being brave is waking up every day to face all that life is throwing at you with courage and determination. Being brave is being able to stand strong in the face of rejection, and criticism and continue to work on your life purpose without loss of enthusiasm. Being brave is being able to be alone without feeling lonely because it is in solitude that you can hear that little voice inside you who has been trying to tell you what you already know deep down but you were too busy being distracted by all the noise around you. Being brave is taking care of your body, mind, and spirit and make yourself strong, healthy and resilient each and every day.
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes”.
Marcel Proust
We are all explorers. Photo featuring Joanne Reed in the desert of Saudi Arabia.
We are all Explorers. Step outside your comfort zone`
A comfort zone is an artificial mental boundary within which we maintain a sense of security and out of which we experience great discomfort. Each one of us has our own boundaries that delineate our comfort zone, there isn’t a one size-fit-all-comfort-zone model, but what you must know is that all the comfort zone is concerned with is keeping you inside of it.
A lot of people will have a natural inclination to stay inside their comfort zone even if they are unhappy and unfulfilled, first and foremost because it is familiar and safe, but most of all because they are afraid of the unknown, the risk of failure, and/or being hurt. They would rather stay wrapped up in their little cocoon, preferring to stay warm and cozy. But instead of staying in this warm cosy place, I propose to take you on an exploratory trip where you will get uncomfortable by stepping outside your comfort zone.
Stepping outside your comfort zone will help you grow, but it is important that you do it properly; be mindful of not putting yourself in a situation where you will push yourself to do something that falls way outside your comfort zone to the point of jeopardy. There is a fine line between being courageous and being stupid.
We are all explorers. Photo featuring Joanne Reed in the desert of Saudi Arabia.
According to Professor Andy Molinski who is a professor of organizational behavior at Brandeis University International Business School there are 3 zones when it comes to comfort. The first one is the comfort zone, where you are in a familiar situation and you are experiencing very little anxiety. The second zone is the stretch zone, where you are experiencing some level of anxiety but at a point where you can turn it into motivation and a good productivity level. The third zone is the panic zone where you are experiencing extreme levels of anxiety and where you are feeling completely overwhelmed.
Molinski stresses that the optimal level of discomfort is in your stretch zone. It is important to understand that comfort zone is a subjective concept, and each individual has to understand their tolerance to discomfort. Humans react to new situations differently, it is very possible that what one considers to be their stretch zone might be another’s panic zone. There are several factors that will help you determine your tolerance levels, such as your values and interest, your personality and tolerance to stress. The key is to understand how you work. You need to know yourself. Having that kind of insight relies on a great deal of self-awareness and if you are unsure, the only way to find out is to experiment.
We are all Explorers. Start looking at life with a sense of curiosity
We are all explorers. Photo featuring Joanne Reed in the desert of Saudi Arabia.
What you need is to start looking at life with a sense of curiosity. You want to become an explorer. You want to keep learning and growing. Be open and receptive. Become involved in life. Be in the arena. You want to venture to places you haven’t been to before. You want to do things you haven’t done before.
You want to connect and engage with people you wouldn’t normally interact with. You want to taste new dishes. You want to climb to the top of a mountain, canoe across a lake, ride your bike to work, or walk barefoot in the grass. You want to sing in the shower, dance in the living room and have pajama parties with your friends. You want to wear outrageous and colorful clothes. You want to dance in the rain ad get wet.
You want to take your time to think and pause and meditate, to reflect on who you are and what you want to be. You want to gaze through a window and breathe, taking in the beauty of the scenery.
You can also follow me on my FaceBook Page and sign up for a Free Guide that I wrote for women to remind them that they should give themselves permission to be all that they can be.
