Let’s talk about love. How to love and be loved. It has been said that the greatest pursuit of human life is to love and be loved. We believe in love. It is in our nature to be drawn to love stories, to long for one of our own, and to hope that true love is possible. Falling in or out of love is one of the strongest emotions that people can experience. Love can be kind. Love can be cruel. Love is everything. Love has been called one of the most studied and least understood areas of psychology. But if romantic love eludes you, remember that there are many different types of love. [Take a minute or two to read or re-read the article I wrote a while ago on this very subject 8 Types of Love].

Romanic love is familiar and complex. It has been described in infinite ways across time and culture.  Love is what drives us but it is also what can bring us the most pain, for there cannot be light without darkness, joy without sorrow and love without pain. How can one extricate themselves from such a dichotomy in life? You can’t really, and it is hard to learn from friends and family who themselves just winging it! Moreover, it isn’t one-size-fits-it-all. What works for you may not work for me. 

So, how do you get some clarity on such a complex subject? The problem is that most people believes that love is just a feeling. Wrong! You can say to your other half all day long that you love them dearly, if your words are not followed by actions that carry with them all the energy of tenderness, love, and care than you have a problem. Love is not a feeling it is action. It is the actions you take every single day towards yourself, your loved one, people, animals and nature all around you.

So, how to love and be loved? That is the question that most people ask themselves. Let’s seek some relationship advice from the Native Americans.

How to Love and Be loved. Relationship Advice from the Sioux

The Sioux Tribe has only one piece of advice for couples who wish to marry and establish a long lasting relationship with each other.

“For a relationship to last, both members should fly together but not tethered.”

Native American Wisdom

Never be slaves to each other. Because true love doesn’t chain us. It unites two individuals in one single project without needing to reject their own being, their own identity.

There was a legend about a young Sioux couple who went to see the village Shaman one morning because their hearts were filled with anticipation but also some anxiety about the prospect of getting married. The young man was a brave and noble warrior who was respected and admired among his peers. The young woman was as beautiful as she was strong. She carried herself with grace, and determination. She was a free spirit. A match made in heaven so to speak. Both had a deep love for one another and were eagerly waiting for the day when their destiny would be linked to each other forever; but they were also filled with anxiety, and that is why they seek advice from the village Shaman.

The love they felt for one another triggered a strange feeling that they did not experience before, a kind of malaise best described as separation anxiety. They were scared of being apart from each other, they were terrified about the idea that they could die and not being able to find each other in the afterlife. They wanted the Shaman to give them some potion, spell or enchantment that would make their love eternal.

The old Shaman took the girl’s hand and said: “If you want to keep your beloved by your side for a long time you must go on a journey. It won’t be easy, I’ll warn you. You will climb that hill that you see behind you  and with your own two hands you’ll catch a falcon: the strongest, most beautiful one. Then, you must bring it here alive on the third day after the full moon.”

Afterwards, the Shaman turned to the young warrior. “As for you, you must know that your task will be just as complex and demanding. You have to climb our village’s highest mountain and catch an eagle. The most beautiful, most lively, most untamed one. You must bring it here on the same day as your beloved.”

How To Love and Be Loved – Challenge Completed and Lessons Learned

The young Sioux girl and her beloved completed the challenge set by the old Shaman. She brought the falcon inside a leather bag. The young warrior carried his eagle. The most beautiful, the strongest. When they came to the old Shaman, they both asked what the next step would be.

The Shaman told them to take the birds and tie their feet together with a leather cord. So that they are tethered to each other. Then, You must let them go so they may fly free. When they had completed this request, they were astonished and speechless when they saw what happened. When the two birds tried to take flight, all they could do was fall over and over again. Frustrated and full of anger, they started to fight with each other.

The old Shaman went and untied the birds. This is the spell I’ll give you. Learn from what you just saw. If you tie yourselves with each other, even with love, the only thing you will achieve is to pull each other down, hurt each other, and be unhappy.

If you want your love to last, fly as high as you can, together but not tethered. Because true love doesn’t chain us.

Native American Wisdom

By those words, I cast a spell upon all of my followers and readers to pay attention, live intentionally, with love and purpose and when you find your wingman or wingwoman fly together but not tethered.

Love is also a process. There are 4 stages of love.

1. Stage #1: Preparing for Love.
2. Stage # 2: Practicing for Love
3. Stage #3: Protecting Love
4. Stage #4: Perfecting Love

The sequel to this article can be found in a Guide that describes what those 4 stages are. Click here to have access to it.

And this my dear friend is your Quest.

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