18 Comments »

  1. Trying to build a a stronger character , meditating, excercising, walking in nature , observing thoughts and emotions and even seeking professional advice from psychotherapists or support from friends and relatives are great for human beings whether males and females …
    Expressing emotions in a constructive manner and changing tjem if we can is better than suppressing your emotions…

  2. Another good post. 🙂

    You did overlook one key driver of this issue though. Society’s problems are driving men’s problems just as much as the other way around.

    If a man asks a woman out just once, he’s guilty of sexual harassment, no matter how polite he is, as one example. Let’s stick with that one example for the sake of being concise. That message alone constantly being all over twitter and various internet “news” sites is responsible for a ton of angst, increased division between men and woman and the creation of the Men Going Their Own Way movement. Even Superman actor Henry Cavill has joined that movement and says he’s afraid to flirt with women.

    Men are targeted as the cause of everything wrong in the world today. That takes a toll on them the same way “all you Ns are alike” did and does on black people.

    If we REALLY want to start healing the world, we have to judge everyone, regardless of race, color or gender as an individual, not part of some group. Applying some common sense to situations would go a long way also. In my above example, asking once is fine IMO. Refusing to take no for an answer and continuing to flirt or ask, that’s where the line gets crossed.

    • That’s actually a really good point I didn’t think of. Taking victims of assault or harassment seriously is a good thing, but it’s hard to deny that people are able to use this unfairly to their advantage and paint innocent men as dangerous predators.

      Thanks for the comment! Maya

  3. Thank you, Maya. You are speaking to a global, cultural issue. I am working on solving this issue along with you. I love that you are so young and you are taking ownership of your voice.

    I have just written a manifesto for the Joy-Based Living community which I lead. The first sentences of the manifesto are:

    EMOTIONAL LITERACY IS THE HEARTBEAT OF JOY-BASED LIVING

    EMOTIONAL LITERACY IS WHAT WE PRACTICE AT JOY-BASED LIVING

    EMOTIONAL LITERACY IS THE GATEWAY TO FREEDOM AND EQUALITY FOR EVERYONE.

    WE NEED TO STOP BEING PREJUDICED AGAINST EMOTIONS.

    EMOTIONAL LITERACY EMPOWERS US TO GIVE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY TO OTHERS AS WELL AS OURSELVES.

    You can hear the whole thing and join in the conversation here. I’m seeking collaborators and co-creators. https://www.patreon.com/posts/40249169

  4. Agreed. Many men have such a hard time talking about their real feelings. And yes, I feel pretty shitty these days days myself but I have several girlfriends I talk with. And it helps so very much.

  5. I agree with mostly everything you said. I believe men should be able to express their emotions. But it’s difficult for them to do so due to pressure from family and society not to do so.

    Tbh I find it weird when my dad says he misses me or he loves me. Maybe because he didn’t raise me and was never there hence why I find it weird. Makes me think something is up with him.

    • Expressing your emotions and showing your vulnerability as a man is not something that is easy to do especially when there is so much pressure from friends and family to do the opposite. Having said that there may be times when it is safe for you to do so when you are in the company of close members of your family and friend, this is a safe environment. I don’t know all the ins and outs of your relationship with your father but if he expresses his love for you in a manner that you are not used to, I say, maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he has read my article (haha) and he has decided to express his emotions more than he used to be…

      • I guess. I mean I don’t mind when people express their emotions because I do it a lot myself. But it’s very weird when he does. It’s very rare that he expresses emotions, my siblings say he’s made of rock sometimes because of this. Which I agree with a lot because neither they or I have ever seen or heard him cry. But to be honest he isn’t an internet/blog person and no offence to you at all, i love your content. ButI doubt he read your article or even knows you wrote an article about this, he doesn’t even know my blog exists.

      • I was just joking when I mentioned that your dad may have read my blog, it was a light hearted comment to say that if someone expresses love and affection when they are not use to do it, it may indicate that they are softening up.

      • I didn’t realise it was a joke it didn’t seem that way. It’s very hard to read tones when reading comments. Anyway I appreciate the light hearted tone.

Share your thoughts in the comments below!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.